Correcting my essay

This is the narrarive essay I wrote in my exam two days ago, and I want you to help me by correcting my mistakes

Will start ??

Learning English

Strong desire can bring you the world. When I was almost seventeen year-old girl, I dreamed to learn English, but I wasn't believe in myself, and I thought that not everyone has the ability to learn it. Later on, I found out that I was wrong.

Everything needs you to be patient. I remember my first day of learning English when teachers asked me to do the exam that could decide which level I should be in. After I did it, they told me that I deserve to be in level two directly. I was really happy that day. After less that five days, they told me to be in level one instead. That was because of my speaking skill. I felt so sad, and I didn't want to keep learning. However, teachers advised me that I should keep learning and improve my speaking skill by making friends from different countries. Then I did. Months after months, my speaking skill improved in a very awesome way. And I become my family's translator.

I learned that everything needs you to be patient. Also, to have a strong desire in order to achieve your dream.