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Guest Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Correcting a short Transcript

0 Hello, 02br
02br
00I've released my second short movie today and I want to make an english transcript for it ; however I'm pretty sure my transcript has mistakes (I'm french) and I would appreciate if you could indicates me theses errors or find more elegant ways to say it. 02br
02br
00Here's the full transcript: 02br
02br
001 02br
0000:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,800 02br
00Twenty years from now, 02br
02br
002 02br
0000:00:11,800 --> 00:00:16,200 02br
00ten men slept with the same woman 02br
00betting on the future child's paternity. 02br
02br
003 02br
0000:00:16,200 --> 00:00:21,000 02br
00The one which would be reconized by the child as his father 02br
00would receive the jewels from the bet. 02br
02br
004 02br
0000:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,500 02br
00They had laid a fresh dead 02br
00near the woman during the childbirth. 02br
02br
005 02br
0000:00:24,500 --> 00:00:27,500 02br
00It happened in a sordid carpark. 02br
02br
006 02br
0000:00:27,500 --> 00:00:31,000 02br
00One of the ten men, a Serbe soldier, knew from experience 02br
02br
007 02br
0000:00:31,000 --> 00:00:36,500 02br
00that placing a death near a woman giving birth 02br
00would confer extrasensory capacities to the child. 02br
02br
008 02br
0000:00:36,500 --> 00:00:39,000 02br
00Theses men pursued me during several weeks. 02br
02br
009 02br
0000:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,000 02br
00They want to use me to recover the money from the bet, 02br
00kept by an Italian. 02br
02br
0010 02br
0000:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,000 02br
00They're coming for me. 02br
02br
0011 02br
0000:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,000 02br
00Stand up. 02br
02br
0012 02br
0000:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,200 02br
00Where is the Italian ? 02br
02br
0012 02br
0000:03:41,500 --> 00:03:46,000 02br
00Freely adapted from Agathe Martin's testimonial 02br
02br
02br
00Feel free to ask any question about it if it can help 02br
02br
00Thanks in advance 02br
02br
00Robin Lobel 0-
  

Top answer

0Just quickly; 02br 00I do not understand number 4. 02br 00Points 1 - 7 are in the third person 8 - are in the first ? So it is unclear, who is I, me,?

— Robyn Terri

  • 0Just quickly; 02br 00I do not understand number 4.
  • 02br 00Points 1 - 7 are in the third person 8 - are in the first ?
  • So it is unclear, who is I, me,?
  • 02br 008.
  • These men pursued me over several weeks.
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4 Answers
0
0Just quickly; 02br
00I do not understand number 4. 02br
00Points 1 - 7 are in the third person 8 - are in the first ? So it is unclear, who is I, me,? 02br
008. These men pursued me over several weeks. 0-
0
0
0 Thanks for answering; 02br
02br
00Points 1-10 are said by the same girl, talking about her situation 02br
00-Points 1-7 are impersonal, we're not explicitely supposed to establish a link between what is said and the girl herself 02br
00-Points 8-10 link what has been said before with the girl we see on screen (the child she talked about is actually h
0
0
0 I'm now close to the final release; feel free to signal any mistake or inapropriate form. 02br
02br
00Here's the current transcript: 02br
02br
001 02br
0000:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,800 02br
00Twenty years from now, 02br
02br
002 02br
0000:00:11,800 --> 00:00:16,200 02br
00ten men sl
0
0
0 now 20:24 02br
00twenty tree years 02br
00i do a lot of works 0-
0

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