Correct writing task 2 IELTS

Some people believe that the government spends too much money on developing space exploration technology. There are many others financial needs that the government should address instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently many people criticized the government for holding extravagant space exploration. From my perspective, the spending on the space development technology is rational, however, others financial deficiency yet matter under consideration concern.
On the on hand, human's extraterrestrial activities and developments have various conspicuous benefits regard in all aspects. In other words, GPS and other satellite navigation system methodically transfers information and data from satellite that orbit round the earth to track down precisely subject, trajectory, place such as missing person's site or migration route of a particular species. Furthermore, according to the advance of science that bring about gallops of new technological conception and invention, for instance, AR( Augmented Reality) and VR( Virtual reality) along with different algorithms and references, location-based service is certainly indispensable
On the other hand, there are aspects of life that need to be addressed and concerned urgently. The environment is the typical but foremost perpetual problem facing by humanity, due to the modernize and industrialize process of humanity civilization that lead to sever severe environmental degradations. Government should build collective consciousness either raise awareness of the inhabitants, expenditure expansion for preserving environment through subsidizes or polices is extremely exigent. Another alarming subject is the food scarcity and water famine is continuously omnipresent in many areas of the world, Annual reports found out great figures of world's population who is still suffer from starvation and dehydration eventually women and children is the most common victim of the disaster. Furthermore, those endure malnourished could prone to various epidemic diseases and maladies with ease. Hence, humanity as a whole should coalesce to solve this thorny global problem
In conclusion, Despite the immense benefits of the cosmic technology development that the government is exploiting, I personally believe beside the environment deterioration and food shortage from aforementioned cases there are multifarious problems with financial needs that the government altogether should concentrate on