Correct the grammar,.......

Question

Could you please correct the grammar of the following entry ? Thank you so much !!!

Right away, it's nearly 11:00 pm. I've just got through replying to a friend , it's quite long, so I have to take a long time. She's Taiwanese, quite nice and very kind. She's very curious about Vietnamese culture, activity, attitude with foreigner.... She also wants to travel to Vietnam and have specialities. While I was writing, Tuan buzzed me, gave me a website and asked me for giving him some advice about choosing which model of shoes he should buy. To see and give him my advice, done !

Kept on writing. A short while later, Hannah said hi to me. I told her to wait for me a moment. Then, I continued my business. When I finished, She has been off-line for a long while, hix.... sorry for this.

I tried to find someone to chat. Today, my friend went back to his hometown. Hope of getting some speciality from his hometown after his return, hehe.

Hmmm, let me remember whether there is any talk which happened today to relate to you. Ah, Sea Games 24. This afternoon, after finishing the class, my friends and me went to a coffee shop to watch the football match between Vietnam and Malaysia. This match, Vietnamese team played was not good although trouncing Malaysian team. Be quite disappointed. How about you ?

Hix, I'm getting sleepy. Tomorrow is Sunday, hope for a nice weekend for everybody.

Good night.

Fandorin · Accepted Answer

it has already corrected.

Fandorin · Answer

Right away,-said my mother (for example)- it's nearly 11:00 pm. I've just gotten through replying to a friend (it's very complicated, it'd better to change it), it was quite long, so I have to take a long time. She's Taiwanese, quite nice and very kind. She's very curious about Vietnamese culture, activity, attitude with foreigner.... Also She wants to travel to Vietnam and have a specialities. While I had been writing, Tuan buzzed me, left a website and asked me for giving some advice about choosing model of shoes he should buy. I've done it!

~~Kept on writing~~. (It would better to make sentence, but not a fragment.) For a bit lately Huynh Anh greeted me. I asked her to wait for a moment. Then, I had continued my business. When I had finished, She was being out of network for a long time, hix?.... sorry for this.

I was looking for someone to chat with. Today, my friend go back to his hometown. I hope of getting some speciality from his hometown after his return, hehe.

~~Hmmm, let me remember whether there is any talk which happened today to relate to you~~ - terrible construction (is it question or something elst?). Ah, Sea Games 24. Whe we were Finishing the class in the afternoon, I and my friends went to a coffee shop for watching the football match between Vietnam and Malaysia. This match, Vietnamese team played was not good although trouncing Malaysian team. (it's acceptable - Although Vietnamese team played bad they could tweak their opponent's ***.) ~~Be quite disappointed~~ (We were very flabbergasted and dissapointed at the same time) . What about you ?

Hix, I drop off to sleep. Tomorrow is Sunday, I hope for a nice weekend for everybody.

Good night.

Goodman · Answer

Newbie2007
Could you please correct the grammar of the following entry ? Thank you so much !!!

~~Right away,~~ it's nearly 11:00 pm. I've just got through replying to a friend , it's quite long, so I have to take a long time. ~~She's Taiwanese~~, quite nice and very kind. She's very curious about Vietnamese culture, activity, attitude with foreigner.... She also wants to travel to Vietnam and have specialities. ????? While I was writing, Tuan buzzed me, gave me a website and asked me for giving him some advice about choosing which model of shoes he should buy. To see and give him my advice, done ! ???

Kept on writing. A short while later, Hannah said hi to me. I told her to wait for me a moment. Then, I continued my business. When I finished, She has been off-line for a long while, hix.... sorry for this.

I tried to find someone to chat. Today, my friend went back to his hometown. Hope of getting some speciality ???from his hometown after his return, hehe.

Hmmm, let me remember whether there is any talk which happened today to relate to you. Ah, Sea Games 24. This afternoon, after finishing the class, my friends and me went to a coffee shop to watch the football match between Vietnam and Malaysia. This match, Vietnamese team played was not good although trouncing Malaysian team. Be quite disappointed. How about you ?

Hix, I'm getting sleepy. Tomorrow is Sunday, hope for a nice weekend for everybody.

Good night.

Hi Newbie,

I don’t know what you expect from posting this entry. I gave it a glance and marked the obvious for you so that you can look at it and ask questions. This piece of writing is sounding more like a bored teenager's diary than a composition. The tone was too teeny and the wording was not very literal. True, a diary or a personal journal is often not grammar-critical. It’s just something you write down for yourself to read later. But if you want to have the expert to correct it, it’s quiet a chore! The way it was written was quiet understandable, but its content was rather fragmented. Something like this is very personal in style and word choice, I won’t attempt to do any correcting based on my own preference. If you like to improve your English, perhaps post something a little more in substance in content. That’s my advice.

Correct the grammar,.......

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