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Beauty Posted 19 years ago
Grammar
Correct Sentence Structure
0 Hello Everyone, 02 br
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00 I am new to this forum and wish to have the following sentence critiqued for proper structure and grammatical syntax. Please note that the sentence is apart of a resume summary. 02 br
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01 b 00 (A) 02 b 02 br
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00 Over eight years of experience with a fortune 500 Brokerage Firm primarily in a support role as a Senior Support Representative advancing to a Business Systems Analyst and finally promoted to a Communications Analyst. 02 br
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01 b 00 (B) 02 b 02 br
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00 Over eight years of experience as a Communications Analyst, Business Systems Analyst, and Senior Support Representative with a Fortune 500 brokerage firm. 02 br
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00 Sentence 01 b 00 B 02 b 00 flows much better, however it does not reflect the heavily weighted experience held by the Senior Support Representative title (noted in sentence 01 b 00 A 02 b 00 ). The weighted factor is important. 02 br
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00 Please Advise! 02 br
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00 I thank you all in advance for your constructive input. 0-
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00 I am new to this forum and wish to have the following sentence critiqued for proper structure and grammatical syntax. Please note that the sentence is apart of a resume summary. 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 (A) 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Over eight years of experience with a fortune 500 Brokerage Firm primarily in a support role as a Senior Support Representative advancing to a Business Systems Analyst and finally promoted to a Communications Analyst. 02 br
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01 b 00 (B) 02 b 02 br
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00 Over eight years of experience as a Communications Analyst, Business Systems Analyst, and Senior Support Representative with a Fortune 500 brokerage firm. 02 br
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00 Sentence 01 b 00 B 02 b 00 flows much better, however it does not reflect the heavily weighted experience held by the Senior Support Representative title (noted in sentence 01 b 00 A 02 b 00 ). The weighted factor is important. 02 br
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00 Please Advise! 02 br
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00 I thank you all in advance for your constructive input. 0-
Top answer
02 br 02 i 02 br 00 (You needn't state outright the 'supporting role'-- save that admission for your interview. ) 0-
- 02 br 02 i 02 br 00 (You needn't state outright the 'supporting role'-- save that admission for your interview.
- ) 0-
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6 Answers
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1 b 00 A 02 b 00 is fine, but it has other problems: 02 br
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01 i 00 Over eight years of experience with a 01 b 00 F 02 b 00 ortune 500 01 b 00 b 02 b 00 rokerage 01 b 00 fi 02 b 00 rm 01 b 00 , primarily 02 b 00 01 b 00 as Senior 02 b 00 Support Representative 01 b 00 ,
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01 i 00 Over eight years of experience with a 01 b 00 F 02 b 00 ortune 500 01 b 00 b 02 b 00 rokerage 01 b 00 fi 02 b 00 rm 01 b 00 , primarily 02 b 00 01 b 00 as Senior 02 b 00 Support Representative 01 b 00 ,
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0 Thanks for your input! 02 br
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00 I still have a dilemma. Look at the following article which comes from Purdue University's on line writing lab. 02 br
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01 a 05 0 00 02 a 02 br
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01 font 00 Note also that in English, the indefinite art
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00 I still have a dilemma. Look at the following article which comes from Purdue University's on line writing lab. 02 br
02 br
01 a 05 0 00 02 a 02 br
02 br
01 font 00 Note also that in English, the indefinite art
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0 The capitalized job titles preclude the article. ' 01 i 00 Teacher 02 i 00 ' is not a job title. Compare 01 i 00 Vice-Principal Smith 02 i 00 with ( 01 b 00 X 02 b 00 ) 01 i 00 Teacher Smith 02 i 00 . Please write it the way I suggested. 0-
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0 Mr Micawber is (of course) correct on the grammatical front – but there is another reason why you might want to avoid using “a” in front of job titles in this context: 00 00 “ 01 i 00 advancing 01 b 00 to a Business 02 b 00 Systems Analyst 02 i 00 ” implies that you were one of many, and a small cog in the machine; “ 01 i 00 advancing 01 b 00
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0 Lil' Ruby Rose, 02 br
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00 Thank you for your objective yet compassionate response to my dilemma . 02 br
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00 I feel comfortable putting this issue to rest. 02 br
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00 Regards, 02 br
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00 " 01 font 00 Beauty 02 font 00 is in the eye of the beholder" 0-
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00 Thank you for your objective yet compassionate response to my dilemma . 02 br
02 br
00 I feel comfortable putting this issue to rest. 02 br
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00 Regards, 02 br
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00 " 01 font 00 Beauty 02 font 00 is in the eye of the beholder" 0-
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0 Mister Micawber, 02 br
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00 You made your point! 02 br
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00 With the combined efforts of you and Lil' Ruby Rose, I can now put this dilemma to rest. 02 br
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00 Thanks, 02 br
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00 " 01 font 00 Beauty 02 font 00 is in the eye of the beholder" 0-
02 br
00 You made your point! 02 br
02 br
00 With the combined efforts of you and Lil' Ruby Rose, I can now put this dilemma to rest. 02 br
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00 Thanks, 02 br
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00 " 01 font 00 Beauty 02 font 00 is in the eye of the beholder" 0-
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