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Perfect Stranger Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Correct or not no. 95 - one sentence

Dear All,

Is the underlined sentence native-like and natural?

I was glad to hear that there might be new openings next year. Although Tim has mentioned that I'm looking for a Chinese teaching position, I'd be very happy to teach History or Social Studies. I've been teaching History and Literature for quite a while now and I was wondering if it'd be possible to ask the HR manager at your school (I believe that'd be Kathy) to have a look at my documents and evaluate them in terms of having possible future openings and career opportunities at XYZ High School.

Variation: ...in terms of having career opportunities at XYZ High School when applying for future openings.

I'd be very grateful for corrections should there be any other mistakes in the preceding sentences.

Thank you
  

Top answer

Perfect Stranger Is the underlined sentence native-like and natural? It seems overly formal compared to the rest of your message (which could contrariwise benefit from fewer contractions, which begin to seem forced). I am glad to hear that there might be new openings next year.

— Mister Micawber

  • Perfect Stranger Is the underlined sentence native-like and natural?
  • It seems overly formal compared to the rest of your message (which could contrariwise benefit from fewer contractions, which begin to seem forced).
  • I am glad to hear that there might be new openings next year.
  • Although Tim has mentioned that I am looking for a Chinese teaching position, I would be very happy to teach History or Social Studies.
  • I've been teaching History and Literature for quite a while now.
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6 Answers
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Perfect StrangerIs the underlined sentence native-like and natural?
It seems overly formal compared to the rest of your message (which could contrariwise benefit from fewer contractions, which begin to seem forced).

I am glad to hear that there might be new openings next year. Although Tim has mentioned that I am looking for a Chinese teaching posi
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Thanks... And yet I got an email saying that those messages were not formal enough...
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You cannot raise register by writing one formal phrase; it sticks out like a sore thumb. I have made your text 'native-like and natural' and consistent.
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Mister MicawberYou cannot raise register by writing one formal phrase; it sticks out like a sore thumb. I have made your text 'native-like and natural' and consistent.
Oh, I'm not implying that it had anything to do with your corrections/changes.

I was quite surprised to get a message from them saying that "I might want to clean up my email because i
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Perfect StrangerNot polite enough? Not formal enough?
I think it is quite appropriate—like one that I would write myself: it is simple, direct and natural. I cannot imagine what kind of pomposity they expect under the concept of 'formal'. The only things I would change are the contractions and the 'while's: 'I have been teaching H and L for thr
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