CORRECT MY PARAGRAPH

Question

Life at college was really a memoriable life. I had four bossom friends having their names Ishtiaque, Malik, Riaz and Numair in college life. One of Ishtiaque was very competant in many subjects all of us were taking guidelines to be prepared for the annual exams. My other friends were not sincere in their studies, Ishtiaque asked me to not fetch Riaz and Numair with you while come to the library. I was one of the sincere student in the college life, because my all educational expenses were borne by my parents. My father was one of the former, and I was only a single son to support my whole family in future.  We were living in an abject  poverty, and my father was helping my support to submit my examination fees. I had a sister,and  I was always keep on thinking that either I shall be able to support my family or not by gettng proper education.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

Using the word 'please' will make help for your more likely, mcbian. I have underlined some problem areas and struck out unnecessary verbiage. Please try to fix them and then post your revised paragraph here.

Life at college was really a memoriable ~~life~~. I had four bossom friends having their names Ishtiaque, Malik, Riaz and Numair ~~in college life~~. ~~One of~~ Ishtiaque was very competant in many subjects all of us were taking guidelines to be prepared for the annual exams. My other friends were not sincere in their studies, Ishtiaque asked me to not fetch Riaz and Numair with you while come to the library. I was one of the sincere student i~~n the college life~~, because my all educational expenses were borne by my parents. ~~My father was one of the former, and~~ I was only a single son to support my whole family in future. We were living in an abject poverty, and my father was helping ~~my support~~ to submit my examination fees. I had a sister,and I was always ~~keep on~~ thinking that either I shall be able to support my family or not by gettng proper education.

Mcbian · Answer

Dear Sir,

Thanks I also expect timely help from you in future.

Life at college was really memoriable . I had four bossom friends having their names Ishtiaque, Malik, Riaz and Numair. Ishtiaque was very competant in many subjects all of us were taking guidelines to be prepared for the annual exams. My other friends were not sincere in their studies, Ishtiaque asked me to not fetch Riaz and Numair with you while come to the library. I was one of the sincere student, because my all educational expenses were borne by my parents. I was only a single son to support my whole family in future. We were living in abject poverty, and my father was helpinp to submit my examination fees. I had a sister,and I was always thinking that either I shall be able to support my family or not by gettng proper education.

Mister Micawber · Answer

Thanks I also expect timely help from you in future. -- Did you wish to pay me, then?

Mcbian · Answer

I'm having keen intrest to learn from seniors What should I pay you then ? My mother tongue is Sindhi -Cha hal ahey like this. I'm trying to improve my language skills by joining this forum. This forum is not only a informative, but also a supportive as well. <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/83.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/83.gif' alt='Emotion: dance'/>

Mister Micawber · Answer

I don't want you to pay me; I want you to learn to use the word 'please' and to use more polite English.  Saying 'I expect you to..." is a demand, not a request.

Mcbian · Answer

okie I got it.

Mister Micawber · Answer

OK, but you haven't tried to fix the areas I underlined in your paragraph.  Please try to fix all of them and post your revised paragraph here.

CORRECT MY PARAGRAPH

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