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Happy260904 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Correct my Essay plz :'(

Many people are traveling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

In this contemporary era, the demand of travelling is increasing day by day in light of the enhancement of living standards and transportation. Hence, international travel has gained remarkable growth in recent years. From my perspective, there are several factors that contribute to this trend and it is considered a positive development.

To begin with, the first rationale could lie in the rise in financial income in both developed and developing countries. Specifically, there are an increasing number of people, particularly in the middle class, who can now afford to travel abroad with a small budget. Also, this could be combined with the development of tourism as more discounts are offered frequently to people living in third world nations. Therefore, the demand for travelling to other countries is growing as more and more citizens have adequate budgets for this trend. Secondly, people opt for cross-border trips in order to learn more about foreign cultures. As an illustration of the point, during their trip, travellers have more opportunities to interact with local residents and their traditional habits, which could provide them with knowledge about unfamiliar cultures and help avoid social faux-pas.

For the aforementioned reasons, I believe that international travel could lead to positive effects on society. On the individual level, visiting other nations offer travellers more chances to widen their horizons in different fields. Particularly, they have better access to state-of-art service and knowledge which they have never experienced in their nations and that they are allowed to get exposed to that knowledge, they could apply their profound understanding to develop the economy of their countries. On the societal level, with the increasing demand for travelling abroad, the visited national economy could gain enormous profits from this phenomenon. It is evidenced by that when visiting a nation, the demand for food and housing here is likely to grow, so the native resident can earn a substantial amount of money by providing accommodation and selling traditional cuisines. Hence, cross-border travel could act as a precursor to offering more job opportunities for the local people in order to serve the great number of international visitors.

In conclusion, people in this day and age choose to travel across borders due to their stable financial status and their desire to acquire novel knowledge. In my opinion, this growth is positive for its significant advantages.

  

Top answer

You wrote almost 400 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores.

  • You wrote almost 400 words.
  • The minimum is 250.
  • You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores.
  • And there are many reasons for this.
  • First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.
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2 Answers
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You wrote almost 400 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you po

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In this contemporary era, (unnatural. Let the verb tense give the idea of the present time.) The demand of travelling is has been increasing day by day in light of improving the enhancement of (unnatural. ) living standa

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