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His amazing voice still trickling into my mind through the words scattered out of his mouth. Is this sentence correct?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Help pleasee

Khoff · Answer

Please don't be so impatient!

AnonymousHis amazing voice still trickling into my mind through the words scattered out of his mouth. Is this sentence correct?

There are several problems with this sentence. First, in terms of grammar, it lacks a main verb -- "His amazing voice is (or was) still trickling into my mind . . . " Or perhaps "His amazing voice, still trickling blah blah blah . . . . out of his mouth, reminded me of my father's voice. Or something. It needs a main verb!

Then in terms of meaning -- the imagery is really, really strange. The voice (is) trickling into my mind through the words. . . It would seem to me that either the voice or the words would be entering your mind through your ears, or possibly through the open doorway or the crack in the wall. The idea of the voice coming through the words doesn't make sense to me.

"The words scattered out of his mouth" is also strange -- it sounds as if the words are dropping out of his mouth like crumbs of food. Not a very appealling image, and therefore not very consistent with "amazing voice."

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