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DeRoland Posted 17 years ago
Letter Writing

Consider my letter of motivation


Dear members of this board,

i'm currently working on my letter of motivation for a dutch university; the roosevelt academy of middelburg. I feel that it's going in the right direction but would like some insights on my use of english and perhaps the general tone of my letter.

I used the following topic as a guideline for the structure;



any insights or suggestions are very welcome!

The letter;


Dear Sir/Madam,



I am writing to you to apply for the Roosevelt Academy Honours programme starting in Fall 2009. I am a curiosity-driven individual from Holland who, after graduating from secondary school in the summer of 2006, went to pursue a career in music and the arts.



While I was working at Markant Recording Studios for the last year, I have come to envision an academic career of studying and researching the processes behind the creation of works of art.



I have decided to apply for the Honours programme at Roosevelt Academy Middelburg because of its honourable arts & humanities department and its international character, which I feel is a prerequisite/privilege for studying any cultural phenomenon.



After secondary school I went to Amsterdam to study audio engineering at a private school; the SAE Institute. I noticed that by studying subjects which genuinely interested me, ranging from acoustics, psychology to marketing strategies and music history of the 20th century, my study habits improved continuously.



After two years I graduated from SAE Institute, had taken part in many different creative collaborations and had become chair of the AES (Audio Engineering Society) NL student section, part of an international network organising educational events and lectures for students. I immediately started an excellent internship programme at Markant Recording Studios, where I have recently been given the position of junior audio engineer. To my great fulfilment, my career at Markant Recording Studios has enabled me to take part in many more several collaborations. These experiences are what ultimately shaped my vision of an academic career.



In my academic career I would like to study the subject of art through the lens of the different social sciences, history and from a practical point of view. Subjects that interest me in particular are the influence of the arts on society, the decision-making process in art creation, creative collaborations, parallels between different art forms, the philosophy of creation and the arts in the information age. Roosevelt Academy Middelburg is the perfect place to study these subjects because although the courses are well outlined within their respective domains, the student is encouraged to find the connections between them. I would like to study the subject of art from different perspectives without committing to one approach early on. I want to sharpen my analytical skills and gain a deeper understanding of the underlying principles. My eventual goal is to pursue a career in the promotion of artistic climate and to take part in many more creative collaborations.



I have chosen to ask my current mentor Mark Derksen, managing director and owner of Markant Recording Studios to write my letter of recommendation.



I am looking forward to meeting many likeminded people!



Should you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your reply.



Yours sincerely,



Roland Bolz
  

Top answer

Hi: Recently found your inquiry and thought I might offer a suitable reply. Hope it can still be usefull for you at this date. Your Command of the English language is quite good.

  • Hi: Recently found your inquiry and thought I might offer a suitable reply.
  • Hope it can still be usefull for you at this date.
  • Your Command of the English language is quite good.
  • Reading it is a little stiff and technical but very good.
  • Sentence structure ,grammar, and completion of thought all good.
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1 Answers
0
Hi:

Recently found your inquiry and thought I might offer a suitable reply. Hope it can still be usefull for you at this date. Your Command of the English language is quite good. Reading it is a little stiff and technical but very good. Sentence structure ,grammar, and completion of thought all good. Onlly criticism would be that it is too formal.

Your overaLL DELIVERY

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