Hi Happy, This area is a very contentious one, so it is not surprising that you find different pronouncements within and between grammar books. ' As such, it is formally correct, but 'Not me' is common and acceptable in spoken English. ' In the first of these two sentences, 'I' again stands in subject apposition to 'who'-- '(who is) telling'-- while in the second sentence 'them' stands in object apposition to 'whom'-- '(whom) I spoke to' ['I spoke to them'].
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