conform to society

Question

We were told since we were young to be nice to others, respect those who are older than you, help each other, not steal etc. We have been brainwashed since we were born so society can stay peaceful. Some of us either were not thoroughly brainwashed or they found out they were exploited, so they rebel when they have a chance and in some cases, they are punished severely such as imprisonment.

Are they mistakes?
Thanks.

ANtiAmericaNiDoL · Accepted Answer

Is this for an assignment?

New2grammar · Answer

No. Everyone on this forum who has been checking my writings know I write whatever I like. <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' alt='Emotion: smile'/> Why does it sound like an assignment?

ANtiAmericaNiDoL · Answer

There's a few stylistic things I would change but it's definitely a functional statement. I wonder if you have ever seen the movie American Zeitgeist?

New2grammar · Answer

Could you tell me what those changes would be?

No. I haven't heard of it. It is good?

Optilang · Answer

We were told, when ~~since~~ we were young, to be nice to others, to respect those who are older than you, help each other, not to steal etc. We have been brainwashed since we were born so society can stay peaceful. Some people ~~of us~~ either were not thoroughly brainwashed or they found out they were exploited, so they rebel when they have a chance and in some cases, they are punished severely with things such as imprisonment.

Huevos · Answer

There aren't any real errors but I'd change a couple of things.

New2grammarWe've ~~were told~~ been taught ever since we were young to be nice to others, to respect those who are older than ~~you~~ us, to help each other, to not steal, etc. We ~~have been~~ are brainwashed since ~~we were born~~ birth so society can ~~stay~~ remain peaceful. Some ~~of us~~ though ~~were~~ have either not ~~thoroughly~~ been completely brainwashed or ~~they found out~~ have discovered they were exploited, so they rebel when they have a chance and in some cases, ~~they~~ are punished severely ~~such as~~ including imprisonment.

ANtiAmericaNiDoL · Answer

I think that formulating stronger arguements is more important than proper grammar at this stage. http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/ ... This film may make you angry and upset. If you've ever wished to free your mind from the confines of accepted "reality" then I'd definately suggest you watch it. If you are content in the cell that most of us share, ignore me and continue your studies.

conform to society

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