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Ben9108 Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
conclusion comment
This report found that some advantage and disadvantage of harbour reclamation have been considered thoroughly. Regardless of which aspects have been deliberated on the reclamation issue, there are solutions in place to support those aspects. Under this situation, a balanced strategy would be sought to co-ordinate all the aspects and alleviate the negative impact to Hong Kong.
In terms of traffic problem, the reclamation is the one method to resolve the problem. In recent consultant proposal, another option, which is a new tunnel under the existing cross harbour tunnel, has to been considered in the final decision stage. The construction cost of tunnel is very expensive than reclamation. At the meantime, people need to make a decision whether the money is important than priceless heritage. In future town planning, the business districts are recommended to relocate progressively to new territories in order to alleviate the traffic saturation and environmental impact upon the critical areas.
Please help me to comment the part of conclusion of grammar and structure.
In terms of traffic problem, the reclamation is the one method to resolve the problem. In recent consultant proposal, another option, which is a new tunnel under the existing cross harbour tunnel, has to been considered in the final decision stage. The construction cost of tunnel is very expensive than reclamation. At the meantime, people need to make a decision whether the money is important than priceless heritage. In future town planning, the business districts are recommended to relocate progressively to new territories in order to alleviate the traffic saturation and environmental impact upon the critical areas.
Please help me to comment the part of conclusion of grammar and structure.
Top answer
Hi Ben9108, Two things I've noticed: overuse of passive tense and lack of action verbs. Why don't you try to fix this paragraph and I'll proofread the other one for you. Cheers.
- Hi Ben9108, Two things I've noticed: overuse of passive tense and lack of action verbs.
- Why don't you try to fix this paragraph and I'll proofread the other one for you.
- Cheers.
- /pl.
- agreement) and disadvant age of harbour reclamation have been considered thoroughly.
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1 Answers
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Hi Ben9108,
Two things I've noticed: overuse of passive tense and lack of action verbs.
Why don't you try to fix this paragraph and I'll proofread the other one for you.
Cheers.
This report found that some advantage (sing./pl. agreement) and disadvantage of harbour reclamation have been considered thoroughly. Regardless of which aspects have been d
Two things I've noticed: overuse of passive tense and lack of action verbs.
Why don't you try to fix this paragraph and I'll proofread the other one for you.
Cheers.
This report found that some advantage (sing./pl. agreement) and disadvantage of harbour reclamation have been considered thoroughly. Regardless of which aspects have been d
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