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Maverick88 Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Computers

Here is my essay which is part of my project. Please check it or part of it. Any help will be appreciated, thank you.

Computers in our lives

Could you imagine what the world would be like today without computers and technology? The first use of computers was during the 1890. People developed systems that could automatically perform different operations without human intervention. Each new computer helped to perform a different function and bit by bit made human lives more comfortable. Nowadays computers have become an indispensable element in lives of each of us.
Computers have invaded grocery stores, fast food restaurants, big business companies and small offices. They process data, store information, work out complex mathematical problems, control temperature and lighting in the office and so forth. The way computers have invaded our society is remarkable. We are using computer technology without even paying attention to it; a calculator, which was the basis for what nowadays is called computer, is every students' essential tool; all the books we read are actually products of printing, allowed thanks to the computers, and are able to be distributed in millions of copies; cellular phones are also miniature computers and are used everywhere. When we exit from the house, we will check if we didn't forget our keys, the purse and necessarily the cellular phone. When we buy something at a store, most likely our purchase will be scanned at the checkout counter by a reader of UPC (Universal Product Code) bar codes. When we bring a package to our local office to mail, the clerk will put it on a scale that is attached to a computer terminal. After the clerk inputs some information by pressing a few buttons, the computer package will cost to mail. CAT (Computer Aided Translation) scans help doctors to view kidneys, hearts, and other body organs to see if they are healthy. Farmers rely on computers to plan planting and harvesting of crops.
One of the greatest inventions ever is the internet. The internet economizes our time, money and allows us to do things without leaving our seat. Now, when the internet is accessible for almost everyone, all the information in the world is accessible too. We no longer have to go to a library to do research. All the information we obtain from the library, we can also get from the internet. We can also shop without going out of your home; shopping in internet is much more convenient, useful and dependable; in the internet you can find any product you wish, look for the desired price and order it right to you house. And there is no such a thing "closed" – you can go to you computer at any time of the day. The internet has re-arranged the advertising business. It has spawned a new world fore advertising, which is much cheaper, more efficient and an advertisement can be stored on net forever.
One of the most remarkable and useful thing in the internet is "E-mail". First, having this, we don't have to go to a post-office and wait in a queue, and not to wait days to have our information delivered. Second, we can depend on e-mail to have letters delivered. We know that the other person will surely receive the message; otherwise we get a message informing us about any problems encountered. Third, having access to e-mail isn't as expensive as mailing letters to other states or countries.
Because of technology we have the advantages of e-mail and internet. If the computers didn't exist, it would cost us more money to do things done thanks to computers today. Reliance on computers is so complete that the world, mostly of commerce, would break up to a sudden stop if computers were removed. The more technology advances - the more computers become an indispensable element of our lives. Predicting what lies in the future is virtually impossible, but we do know that whatever it brings, computer technology will be right in the center of it.
  

Top answer

] Check how decades should be presented. Each new computer helped to perform a different function] Do you mean 'each new computer'? or are you looking at the stages of development?

  • ] Check how decades should be presented.
  • Each new computer helped to perform a different function] Do you mean 'each new computer'?
  • or are you looking at the stages of development?
  • and bit by bit] Good pun.
  • ] You need a definite article here...
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3 Answers
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Hello M88

Here are a few hints about the first part:

The first use of computers was during the 1890.] Check how decades should be presented.

Each new computer helped to perform a different function] Do you mean 'each new computer'? or are you looking at the stages of development?

and bit by bit] Good pun.

element in lives of each of us.] You need
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MrP, thank you very very very very much for checking it. I'd be grateful if you could check the few questions left after you remerks.

allowed thanks to the computers] what word should I use? Is "enabled" OK?

most likely our purchase] informal? My dictionary says nothing about the formality. How should I paraphrase it? "Probably"?

help doctors to view] Would "observe"
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You're welcome, Maverick!

allowed...computers] perhaps 'made possible by computers'. (The point about books is true, in that computers now play a part in the publishing trade; but you might want to include a contrast with the days when books were typeset by hand. Otherwise it sounds as if printing only began once we had computers!)

most likely] 'probably' is neutral in tone,

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