Composition-correcting

Hi Teacher,

Please help correct my composition if there are any grammatical mistakes. Thank you very much!

Whether it is necessary for university students to attend various qualification exams has aroused people, especially students’ concern in China in the past 5 years. The Education department estimates that the number of undergraduate in China may reach approximately 7.5 million in 2016, 2,200,000 more than last year.
It is not unreasonable to believe that job competition has become ferocious in China this year.
Some people claim that getting more qualification certificates can give students job security and more job opportunities in this competitive society. Others remain that taking too much unrelated exams is a waste of time.
From my point of view, I think blindly attending qualification exams is unadvisable. There are two main reasons for my opinion as follows.

The first reason is money. To prepare for a qualification exam, students usually have to pay 100 to 200 dollars in application fee. Meanwhile, a number of students also attend to a variety of training courses and purchase lots of related textbooks.
However, most of university students don’t have ability to make money. Living expense is the only resource of money they have from their parents. Therefore, spending too much money on taking exams may lead to their financial problems and cause the burden on their parents.
The second reason is time consumption. Many students take several exams in one semester. Therefore, they have to use their spare time to devote their attention to qualification exams. For example, you can see there is always a long queue of people outside the school libraries very early in the morning from Monday to Sunday. Besides, some of them even skip their compulsory courses in order to attend training courses. For this reason, many students fail their major courses in the final exams and they may be in poor health because of lacking time to do exercise and have proper meals.

In conclusion, from the reasons I have presented above, I personally think attending qualification exams has a negative effect on students. It appears to me that the role of qualification certifications has been exaggerated and university students should make a reasonable judgment on qualification exams. Because academic performance and activities experience play more important role in a job research than qualification certificates.