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Perfect Stranger Posted 14 years ago
Business & Finance
Company description - my corrections
Dear All,
The company now has 19 subsidiaries and there are 25,000 technical and management personnel and skilled workers, in which there are 900 all kinds technical personnel including 500 senior technical personnel.
The company now has 19 subsidiaries and there are 25,000 technical and management personnel and skilled workers, in which there are 900 all kinds technical personnel including 500 senior technical personnel.
- I don't know how to make this sentence sound better. It's sounds awkward and definitely non-native like to my ear. I'm not just talking about the mistakes but also (or mainly) about the structure.
- in which --> 900 of which are technical personnel?
- all kinds --> all kinds of
Top answer
Hi, The company now has 19 subsidiaries and there are 25,000 technical and management personnel and skilled workers, in which there are 900 all kinds technical personnel including 500 senior technical personnel. You are trying to squeeze too much into one sentence. Say eg The company now has 19 subsidiaries, and there are 24,100 management personnel and skilled workers.
- Hi, The company now has 19 subsidiaries and there are 25,000 technical and management personnel and skilled workers, in which there are 900 all kinds technical personnel including 500 senior technical personnel.
- You are trying to squeeze too much into one sentence.
- Say eg The company now has 19 subsidiaries, and there are 24,100 management personnel and skilled workers.
- In addition, there are 900 technical workers, including 500 in senior positions.
- Clive
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5 Answers
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Hi,
The company now has 19 subsidiaries and there are 25,000 technical and management personnel and skilled workers, in which there are 900 all kinds technical personnel including 500 senior technical personnel.
You are trying to squeeze too much into one sentence.
The company now has 19 subsidiaries and there are 25,000 technical and management personnel and skilled workers, in which there are 900 all kinds technical personnel including 500 senior technical personnel.
You are trying to squeeze too much into one sentence.
00
Thank you Clive.
What keeps bothering me is that in which part... Would it be acceptable to substitute it with among whom?
What keeps bothering me is that in which part... Would it be acceptable to substitute it with among whom?
00
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Hi,
You could word it to use 'including'.
But you need to ensure that you don't end up with something awkward. That's why I offered my rewording.
Clive
You could word it to use 'including'.
But you need to ensure that you don't end up with something awkward. That's why I offered my rewording.
Clive
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