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Bubu prasant Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing
Comment on the standard and the style
Hello,
The following is a small paragraph my friend composed on the independence of India. I would like an honest assessment of the standard and the style of the writing.
Tantalizing independence of India was at last achieved and enjoyed at first on 15th August 1947. Countless martyrs fell prey to the pathetic display of dignity to bring us the smile of independence. But we are yet to be fit to rise to our feet to hold the sweet canopy our beloved independence. With the bitter sweet experiences of the long 64 years, we have reached this day to stand united under the tri colour flag - the life and pride of our country. It is not only an auspicious day for us but also a red letter day to remind us to convince the world of our national integrity. As the future citizens of the holy country, we the students should pledge allegiance to the flag and get ready to walk all the futurity with the pride of freedom so that we can not blame ourselves of being black sheep of mother india. With all her blessings let us move forward.
I really want sincere criticism so that we can improve our style of writing.
The following is a small paragraph my friend composed on the independence of India. I would like an honest assessment of the standard and the style of the writing.
Tantalizing independence of India was at last achieved and enjoyed at first on 15th August 1947. Countless martyrs fell prey to the pathetic display of dignity to bring us the smile of independence. But we are yet to be fit to rise to our feet to hold the sweet canopy our beloved independence. With the bitter sweet experiences of the long 64 years, we have reached this day to stand united under the tri colour flag - the life and pride of our country. It is not only an auspicious day for us but also a red letter day to remind us to convince the world of our national integrity. As the future citizens of the holy country, we the students should pledge allegiance to the flag and get ready to walk all the futurity with the pride of freedom so that we can not blame ourselves of being black sheep of mother india. With all her blessings let us move forward.
I really want sincere criticism so that we can improve our style of writing.
Top answer
Hello Your paragraph is full of nonsensical expressions that seem to have been translated by one of the online software-driven translation services. Each sentence contains phrases and couplings of words that are simply not said by proficient speakers of English. However, there is a certain 'poetic' to your composition - perhaps you might consider writing a song or poem instead?
- Hello Your paragraph is full of nonsensical expressions that seem to have been translated by one of the online software-driven translation services.
- Each sentence contains phrases and couplings of words that are simply not said by proficient speakers of English.
- However, there is a certain 'poetic' to your composition - perhaps you might consider writing a song or poem instead?
- Your grammar and sentence structure need serious attention.
- One example, you say: "stand united under the tri colour flag - the life and pride of our country".
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2 Answers
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Hello
Your paragraph is full of nonsensical expressions that seem to have been translated by one of the online software-driven translation services. Each sentence contains phrases and couplings of words that are simply not said by proficient speakers of English.
However, there is a certain 'poetic' to your composition - perhaps you might consider writing a song or poem instead?
Your paragraph is full of nonsensical expressions that seem to have been translated by one of the online software-driven translation services. Each sentence contains phrases and couplings of words that are simply not said by proficient speakers of English.
However, there is a certain 'poetic' to your composition - perhaps you might consider writing a song or poem instead?
00
Thank you for drawing my attention to the ambiguity of the sentence.
This is a paragraph my friend wrote to be used as a speech on the independence day of India. I am sure It's the flag - and not the children - he refers to as being the pride and life of the country. Perhaps, his main purpose was to concentrate on patriotism, and sing the importance and glory of our country.
Wou
This is a paragraph my friend wrote to be used as a speech on the independence day of India. I am sure It's the flag - and not the children - he refers to as being the pride and life of the country. Perhaps, his main purpose was to concentrate on patriotism, and sing the importance and glory of our country.
Wou
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