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Sailsofoblivion Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Comma after certain clause?

In this instance, would a comma be necessary after the word "forever"?

Her mind is empty; for once words are
Not necessary. They are no longer limited.
If she could relive this night
Forever she would; she smiles as he kisses her;
His lips are petals from a flower.

In addition to this, is a colon apt in these lines or would a semi-colon be better?

They are not a part of this ugly world: they exist
In a transient, beautiful one.

Thanks in advance!
Emma
  

Top answer

I guess a comma might help with parsing, but I think the root problem is that phrases are broken awkwardly over lines, both at "words are / Not necessary" and "relive this night / Forever". Albeit virtually any structure is possible in poetry, to me this seems more like prose with arbitrary line breaks than lines of verse.

— GPY

  • I guess a comma might help with parsing, but I think the root problem is that phrases are broken awkwardly over lines, both at "words are / Not necessary" and "relive this night / Forever".
  • Albeit virtually any structure is possible in poetry, to me this seems more like prose with arbitrary line breaks than lines of verse.
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1 Answers
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I guess a comma might help with parsing, but I think the root problem is that phrases are broken awkwardly over lines, both at "words are / Not necessary" and "relive this night / Forever". Albeit virtually any structure is possible in poetry, to me this seems more like prose with arbitrary line breaks than lines of verse.
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