College essay

I'm not a native speaker and I would like you to help with with my college essay please.. So here is the topic:Please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

Here is my essay:
Oh not those child beggars again! You would think that moving across Africa would make a difference. Yet, here I find them again. ‘Talibe’; that’s what they call them here. Different name same issue: they are incredibly persistent, knocking on your window as if you owed them money. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind giving, as long as they aren’t aggressive about it. However, through a community experience, I discovered that what I mistook for aggressiveness was despair, as their well being depends on it in a way I never fathomed before coming to Senegal.
When in arriving in Senegal, the number of child beggars really surprised me. Why were there so many children dressed in dirty torn t-shirts five sizes too large for them, carrying empty tomato paste cans? I often thought that Addis Ababa, the town that I had just left, was an exception when it came to the large number of child beggars. How wrong was I. As a consequence of my past experience with child beggars in Ethiopia, I quickly developed a hostile attitude towards those in Dakar. Their persistence didn’t help, as I didn’t appreciate being harassed when I walked from the grocery store to my car.
However, when I joined the International School of Dakar, I was compelled to change my opinion on Talibes. During that year, I was introduced to the notion of community service: serving the community within and outside the school walls for a number of hours each year. As a start, I offered my help to SamuSocial, an organization that helps getting Talibes off the street. There, we would play with them and help them understand basic math. I was a bit reluctant at first, but all that changed when I got there. When we arrived, the manager gave us a brief summary of the children’s situation. That’s how I learned that those children are sent to the city by their parents in hopes that they could get a religious education from a Quran (central religious text of Islam) teacher. However, once they get to Dakar, their teacher sends them on the street to beg and, if by the end of the day they do not bring a certain amount of money, they beaten are given a corporal punishment and are often denied a meal.
Thanks to this discovery, I have learned that things may not seem as they are. One should always ask before judging. One should always stay open mined in any situation. Basing myself on the experience I have acquired since joining ISD, I know that I can bring my contribution to the UF campus community by serving and assisting others, no matter what background they are from.