College essay..

hi this is my common application essay.

essay topic is A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

please give me some advices... thank you.

“Now, I will give you fifteen minutes. Are you guys ready?” my sixth grade teacher announced for another anathema once again; a test that is hated by almost everyone! Everyone whined with a frowned face and started to get ready for the test; putting up books and bags on the middle of the desk for the purpose of preventing cheatings. I also didn’t really like tests which makes me very nervous. However, this test was an exception being the most exciting work in the class for me. The tests were on several knowledge of countries in the world. This one was simply filling in about one hundred eighty blanks asking for each countries’ capital. In few minutes, I completely filled out all the blanks and smiled confidently.
When I was eleven, I was just an ordinary kid who thought there exist only my country Korea and neighboring and influential countries such as the United States, China, Japan and several other developed countries in Europe. Therefore, I was quite surprised when I learned that there are about a hundred eighty countries in the world and I really enjoyed learning about different cultures. In a corollary, my curiosity and willingness to learn and discover them helped me get high scores on most of the tests. The more I learn , the more I became interested in learning different languages, cultures and countries.
Experiencing a little bit more tangible foreign culture was when I went up to middle school, I was very engrossed into American cultures. My interest in American pop music started from listening to Britney Spears and I learned English as I sing along lots of songs everyday. When my friends were talking about how beautiful the love scene was in Korean soap opera last night, I was talking about how funny the American TV show Friends was. Beside, I was against the cramming system of Korean education. I studied hard but thought that being forced to act like a super computer in uniformed school clothes is stupid and believed that being able to do a hundred push-ups to get an A in P.E. class and studying all day do not make me a better person. Furthermore, I even wanted to be like a pretty Caucasian girl and I desperately wanted to come to America with the big American dream.
Three years later, my dad who has lived separately with us for nine years, finally brought me and my sister to this land that I have dreamed. I immediately said “Yes!” when he asked me if I want to come, without even thinking about leaving everything at home. When I first stepped on Washington D.C. I was very excited and my imaginations for what’s going to happen pervaded through my mind.
Three years since I came to the states, though lots of obstacles struggled me intermittently, I was dramatically changed. I looked different as if my mom in Korea would not be able to recognize. My confidence and attitude toward myself was up in a whole lot different level. I became more cognizant of my ethnicity and didn’t feel like I want to be someone else anymore. I became very thankful for having two eyes that I can see the world in two different perspectives. I realized how important it is for an individual to be unique. If everybody is skinny with cute little face and pursue for one same thing, life would be so boring and easy.
Hence, my next stage would be the college where the exciting explorations on a broader horizon will spread and I’m ready to contribute my willingness and passion to those new surroundings.