College Entrance Essay

Question

Hi! I'm currently writing an autobiographical essay for the Fashion Institute of Technology. I'm not yet done with it but I wanted to know if anyone could give me some pointers and possibly look over it when I am finished. Thanks!

-Lindsay

Nona the brit · Accepted Answer

Hello Lindsay,

When you have finished your essay you can post it here and we'll take a look at it for you.

CoutureFashionGirl · Answer

OK so i've kinda written it two different ways... not sure where to go from here.

This is what it says on my application to do.

[The FIT Admissions Committee would like to know more about you. PLease write an essay telling us about your choice of FIT and major, you special interests and awards, honors, employment background, goals, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, etc.]

Here is the first one...

The fashion world is a fascinating place. Fashion impacts everyday life in many ways. High-end clothing and accessories have always interested me. Enjoying a day of shopping or wearing a new outfit is always a pleasure to me. People come running to me for clothes when they having nothing in their closets to wear or for advice on certain outfits. The Fashion Institute of Technology is a perfect place for me to further educate myself in the fashion business. It’s location, reputation and amount of successful students make my desire to attend the college extremely high. With my love of fashion I feel there is no better place for me to earn my degree then the Fashion Institute of Technology.

Even as a child I love fashion, dressing nicely has always been something I’ve done without much fuss or thought. Remembering back to when I was in elementary school, one of my classmates asked me why I always dress so nicely. My mother never made me dress up or had to fight with me to take a holiday picture in one of those cute dresses, I enjoyed it. Now, not only do I dress nicely, but I also make sure I am up to date with all the latest fashion trends. As I became a bit older I can remember my best friend and I using our mothers’ sewing machines and fabric scraps to make little bags and other such items. When I turned sixteen I began working at a retail store, Limited Too. I remember always shopping there when I was little and telling my mother that I would work there one day. I had always dreamed of working with clothing and I finally was. I dreamed, pursued and succeeded. From the first day of work there I was enamored with the mix of both fashion and business. In a short amount of time I was a highly respected worker there. Going on to work at three other retail stores and seeing how well I fit in, I’ve become more eager to learn all about the business aspect of the fashion world and earn a permanent profession in it. Fashion merchandising management is perfect for what I would love to do for the rest of my life. The best environment for me to be in would be the Fashion Institute of Technology because of the location, surroundings and courses. The school can connect me to all aspects of my desired major.

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Here's the second one...

Living in the same town for nineteen years I am very well in my comfort zone. I’ve grown up in the same house with a mother, father, two sisters and one brother. Nothing has ever been too life altering or extremely exciting. Now that I am older I feel it is time for change and for me to break out of my shell and into a whole new life. Attending the Fashion Institute of Technology can help me to explore a whole different world with new people, places and opportunities.

In school I was never quite certain about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Knowing I always enjoyed all the art classes I’ve had, I always questioned some profession in a creative, artistic career. When I turned sixteen I began working at a retail store. Thats when it hit me. The fashion world. I’d never thought of having a profession in the fashion world. It is creative and artistic; something I’ve always had a love and natural knack of. I began taking a course in high school that was about fashion design and merchandising. I loved it and received excellent grades. I have worked at three other retail stores and highly enjoy the mix of fashion and business.

**here are some other paragraphs I wrote but I’m not too sure if they go or where I should put them, etc.**

(strengths & weaknesses)

I consider myself to be responsible, a hardworker, a loving daughter and sister, a terrific listener and quite a perfectionist. My family and I are very close and I do not know what I would do without them. Sometimes me perfectionist side can be a downfall because I am very hard on myself but I will take being a perfectionist any day over being a person just satisfied with average. Being such a person helps me push harder for what I want, making me achieve my desired goals.

(Likes & dislikes)

Working a full time job is where I spend most of my time, if not at work I’m usually spending time with my family. My hobbies include drawing, sewing, baking and singing.

(Ok so that really sucks, haha. I can’t think of what else to do with it.)

(Goals)

I am at a point in my life where I feel that I need to get out and do what I feel I was intended to do. I refuse to accept the place I am in my life as something that will be the rest of my life. I know I am better. Success is something I know I have and I am willing to give up my world and move into a whole new one to satisfy my craving for a better life. Earning a degree in fashion merchandising management is a desire and goal of mine. In the future I would like to be holding a permanent job in a highly recognized fashion company.

I know I still need to elaborate on these but what do you think so far? Which one better suits? What should I change, add, etc.

Thanks!

Anonymous · Answer

Hey! I am working on mine too, and was seaching to see if anyone had any pointers as well. I will read yours if you read mine!!! Let me know if anyone responds.

Tiffany

Nona the brit · Answer

Hmmm...you need to combine the relevant points from both versions (look at what they are asking for and try to write a little something for each element) and cut the waffle. Keep to the point and ask yourself 'Is this making my application stronger and providing information they want?' about each paragraph.

Anonymous · Answer

<p>Hey, check out <a href="http://www.essaymasters.net/samples/fashion-design-sample-application-essay">sample college application essay for fashion design institute</a>, maybe it will help.</p>

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