0
Ddongmasta246 Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
College Apps!! can someone check plz :)
Can someone see if this clicks?
I know I need to cut it down, but dont worry about that.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Many would say the world I come from is a bunch of "gobledygook", because, frankly put, it's all over the place. My world has many different countries, that symbolize many different things. Each unique in it own way, and connected only by being a part of me. For example, you would never connect a waterpolo player, to a Rubik's "Cuber". Yet I am both.
The first part of my world, would be my house. It contains my parents but more importantly, my brother. And my brother, will be my brother. Always has and always will. My parents always tell us to get along, and as we grow up we get better about it. But the fact that we didn't get along before, is a better part of my world. Because we did not get along I wanted to be better than him...at everything. He was better than me at everything, because he had 2.5years advantage on me. For example, doing the Rubik's cube. I learned several weeks after he did. But now hes several times better than I am. Not only is he two times faster than me; hes placed top 100 in the world while I top 400, and he can blindfold cube as well (yes, like the guy on the commercial). I don't have as much time as he does, but this is where I get my competitive nature. And I've shown this competitive nature not only to my brother, but to my sports teams.
My world also involves sports. Though it is not a large part, it is relevant to me, especially my years in waterpolo. Waterpolo is the hardest sport i've ever played. And as I was goalie, that made my waterpolo life even harder. On some days, we would have to tread water while pouring the water out of a 5 gallon jug. Then we would fill it up and repeat the procedure. Many saw it as torture...including the goalies themselves. But as a part of the team we consented to go through with the torture. Waterpolo did not just help me get stronger, it also helped me learn how to endure painful times.
Another part of my world would be my world of music. I love music. I don't know why, but I just do. I started playing piano in kindergarten, when I was 5. I played until freshman year, where I picked up the guitar. However, I now play both. And if there's one thing that music has taught me, it would be, to be meticulous. Imagine a guitar. 6 strings, around 15 frets, each about an inch and a half. To be able to play a chord, any chord, I would have to be pretty accurate. If I'm a couple cms off, the sound could be ruined by the thwang of a string. This is of course the same with pianos. If I hit 1 note wrong it could utterly ruin the say 1000 note piece.
The last of my worlds is my church. My church has been like my second home almost, because of all the close friend I have there. But what I see as the biggest part of me from my church, are the trips we took to help people out. Every year we have a team go to Mexico, to help build houses. Last year we had a team go to Louisiana to help with hurricane relief. There is one pastor and several adult leaders to about 100 teenage kids. If the pastor needed help with something, say leading a small group of seventh graders, I volunteered to do so. Through experiences such as those, I learned to build the trust of those following me and the integrity of myself. I learned to be a leader
That is my world. Yet my world must have desires, does it not? To be frank, I have no clear aspirations, and truthfully I don't think a majority of students my age do. I have just left as many doors open as I could. Doors open by my intellectual, physical, and musical abilities. All I know is that when I find that aspiration, I will obtain it. Through my competitive nature, I will have the drive to face it. Through my endurance, I will fight my way towards it. Through my meticulousness I will find the best way to obtain it. And through my leadership I will lead those with identical aspirations.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you think this would be alright?
I know I need to cut it down, but dont worry about that.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Many would say the world I come from is a bunch of "gobledygook", because, frankly put, it's all over the place. My world has many different countries, that symbolize many different things. Each unique in it own way, and connected only by being a part of me. For example, you would never connect a waterpolo player, to a Rubik's "Cuber". Yet I am both.
The first part of my world, would be my house. It contains my parents but more importantly, my brother. And my brother, will be my brother. Always has and always will. My parents always tell us to get along, and as we grow up we get better about it. But the fact that we didn't get along before, is a better part of my world. Because we did not get along I wanted to be better than him...at everything. He was better than me at everything, because he had 2.5years advantage on me. For example, doing the Rubik's cube. I learned several weeks after he did. But now hes several times better than I am. Not only is he two times faster than me; hes placed top 100 in the world while I top 400, and he can blindfold cube as well (yes, like the guy on the commercial). I don't have as much time as he does, but this is where I get my competitive nature. And I've shown this competitive nature not only to my brother, but to my sports teams.
My world also involves sports. Though it is not a large part, it is relevant to me, especially my years in waterpolo. Waterpolo is the hardest sport i've ever played. And as I was goalie, that made my waterpolo life even harder. On some days, we would have to tread water while pouring the water out of a 5 gallon jug. Then we would fill it up and repeat the procedure. Many saw it as torture...including the goalies themselves. But as a part of the team we consented to go through with the torture. Waterpolo did not just help me get stronger, it also helped me learn how to endure painful times.
Another part of my world would be my world of music. I love music. I don't know why, but I just do. I started playing piano in kindergarten, when I was 5. I played until freshman year, where I picked up the guitar. However, I now play both. And if there's one thing that music has taught me, it would be, to be meticulous. Imagine a guitar. 6 strings, around 15 frets, each about an inch and a half. To be able to play a chord, any chord, I would have to be pretty accurate. If I'm a couple cms off, the sound could be ruined by the thwang of a string. This is of course the same with pianos. If I hit 1 note wrong it could utterly ruin the say 1000 note piece.
The last of my worlds is my church. My church has been like my second home almost, because of all the close friend I have there. But what I see as the biggest part of me from my church, are the trips we took to help people out. Every year we have a team go to Mexico, to help build houses. Last year we had a team go to Louisiana to help with hurricane relief. There is one pastor and several adult leaders to about 100 teenage kids. If the pastor needed help with something, say leading a small group of seventh graders, I volunteered to do so. Through experiences such as those, I learned to build the trust of those following me and the integrity of myself. I learned to be a leader
That is my world. Yet my world must have desires, does it not? To be frank, I have no clear aspirations, and truthfully I don't think a majority of students my age do. I have just left as many doors open as I could. Doors open by my intellectual, physical, and musical abilities. All I know is that when I find that aspiration, I will obtain it. Through my competitive nature, I will have the drive to face it. Through my endurance, I will fight my way towards it. Through my meticulousness I will find the best way to obtain it. And through my leadership I will lead those with identical aspirations.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you think this would be alright?
Top answer
Ddongmasta246 Can someone see if this clicks? I know I need to cut it down, but dont worry about that. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1) Many would say the world I come from is a bunch of "gobledygook", because, frankly put, it's all over the place.
- Ddongmasta246 Can someone see if this clicks?
- I know I need to cut it down, but dont worry about that.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1) Many would say the world I come from is a bunch of "gobledygook", because, frankly put, it's all over the place.
- My world has many different countries, that symbolize many different things.
- Each unique in it own way, and connected only by being a part of me.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
1 Answers
0
Ddongmasta246Can someone see if this clicks?
I know I need to cut it down, but dont worry about that.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Many would say the world I come from is a bunch of "gobledygook", because, frankly put, it's all over the place. My world has many different countr
0
Related Questions