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Roon Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Clunky sentence?
Hi, I'm writing a fictional news article, and Word says this sentence is ungrammatical:
"Last week we brought the horrifying news of a 102-year-old retired marine, by the name of John Doe, who went off on one of the most macabre and sadistic killing sprees ever to be seen in the state of California. "
Is there something ungrammatical about it? Is there a way to rephrase this? Thanks for any help
"Last week we brought the horrifying news of a 102-year-old retired marine, by the name of John Doe, who went off on one of the most macabre and sadistic killing sprees ever to be seen in the state of California. "
Is there something ungrammatical about it? Is there a way to rephrase this? Thanks for any help
Top answer
Hello, roon—and welcome to English Forums. I cannot find an outright error, but it could be tightened: Last week we brought the horrifying news of John Doe, a 102-year-old retired Marine , who went on one of the most macabre and sadistic killing sprees ever seen in California .
- Hello, roon—and welcome to English Forums.
- I cannot find an outright error, but it could be tightened: Last week we brought the horrifying news of John Doe, a 102-year-old retired Marine , who went on one of the most macabre and sadistic killing sprees ever seen in California .
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1 Answers
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Hello, roon—and welcome to English Forums. I cannot find an outright error, but it could be tightened:
Last week we brought the horrifying news of John Doe, a 102-year-old retired Marine, who went on one of the most macabre and sadistic killing sprees ever seen in California.
Last week we brought the horrifying news of John Doe, a 102-year-old retired Marine, who went on one of the most macabre and sadistic killing sprees ever seen in California.
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