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Snuppelina Posted 13 years ago
Grammar
clumsy sentence check
I have a very bad sentence here and need native speaker's advice! It lacks the verb because it is some sort of a short list of tasks that have to be performed.
Development of the XXX cyclotron complex, including drastic extension of the experimental base of the lab, development of accelerator systems in order to increase the intensity and improve the quality of beams in the energy range from 1 to 100 MeV as well as to raise stability of the cyclotron operation and reduce their power construction.
What do you think of this clumsy sentence?
Development of the XXX cyclotron complex, including drastic extension of the experimental base of the lab, development of accelerator systems in order to increase the intensity and improve the quality of beams in the energy range from 1 to 100 MeV as well as to raise stability of the cyclotron operation and reduce their power construction.
What do you think of this clumsy sentence?
Top answer
I agree with you. It's clumsy, and it is just a list. Do you want to try to improve it?
- I agree with you.
- It's clumsy, and it is just a list.
- Do you want to try to improve it?
- Clive
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21 Answers
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I agree with you. It's clumsy, and it is just a list.
Do you want to try to improve it?
Clive
Do you want to try to improve it?
Clive
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Yes, I do!
It's supposed to be a run-in list. Any suggestions on how it can be improved?
It's supposed to be a run-in list. Any suggestions on how it can be improved?
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Give it a try.
You need to decide if you want to make sentences,or if you just want a list.
You need to decide if you want to make sentences,or if you just want a list.
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Ok, I'll try 
although I have already brushed this sentence up before posting it here (it was even worse)...
I have another
although I have already brushed this sentence up before posting it here (it was even worse)...I have another
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Clive,
Can you think of a phrase, which could be close to the native speaker's ear "drastic extension of the experimental base of the lab"?
Can you think of a phrase, which could be close to the native speaker's ear "drastic extension of the experimental base of the lab"?
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if a sentence starts like this: alpha and beta spectroscopy bla-bla-bla. And if the alpha and beta words are written as symbols (don't know how to write them here), do I have to lower case them at the beginning of a sentence and capitalize Spectroscopy word?
How can you lower-case a symbol?
Broadly speaking, I would
How can you lower-case a symbol?
Broadly speaking, I would
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Can you think of a phrase, which could be close to the native speaker's ear "drastic extension of the experimental base of the lab"?
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what that means.
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snuppelinathe alpha and beta words are written as symbols (don't know how to write them here)In Word, you can use "Insert" and select "Symbol". Then cut and paste. If that's not available to you, you should be able to copy these here for use in your post.
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snuppelinacapitalize SpectroscopyNo. Not if 'spectros
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Thank, Clive! I do know how to insert symbols, the question was actually about capitalization at the beginning for the sentence. I read somewhere that if a sentence starts with a symbol (like for alpha or beta), then it can't be capitalized, of course because it's a symbol
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snuppelinaBut since it's the beginning of a sentence, the next word should be capitalized.I'm not saying you're wrong, but I haven't seen this advice anywhere before. I'll be watching for another answer, because now you've got me curious.
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