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Chiara Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Chiara/ could you please correct my writing?

0Hello, I made some improvements on my text, if you want to give any piece of advice, correction, comment,02br
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00 I'd be very grateful. Thanks a lot, Chiara02br
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00Competition02br
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00Think about the place where you live, work or study. Is there a leisure facility which you think it needs? An art gallery? A sports centre?...02br
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00You should:02br
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00-say what leisure facility you would like and why you think it is needed02br
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00-describe in detail what you would like the leisure facility to provide02br
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00-explain which groups of peopl in your community would most benefit form this facility.02br
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00Florence is world famous for its monuments and museums. But for people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city.02br
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00It's easy to see it during the weekends when, a part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence seems a ghost town.02br
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00I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time. 02br
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00Firstly it should provide all kind of good international exhibitions from painting to photography, from sculpture to contemporary art.02br
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00Secondly it should organise other type of cultural events, as music concerts and movies, cultural conferences and meetings.02br
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00Thirdly it should offer workshops, either for adults and for children, who want to learn new arts.02br
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00Finally the Art Centre should have a bookshop, a coffeshop and hopefully a park, open seven days a week, for all those people who want to go and read a newspaper, have a good slice of cake, or just meet a friend.02br
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00The birth of an Art Centre in town would definitely bring a breath of fresh air for all groups of the community: adults, children and elder people, either Italians and foreigners, who would find a new exciting place to go and meet new friends.0-
  

Top answer

0Florence is 00world famous00 for its monuments and museums. 02br 02br 00I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time. The highlight between words mean that you have forgetten a punctuation rule there.

  • 0Florence is 00world famous00 for its monuments and museums.
  • 02br 02br 00I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time.
  • The highlight between words mean that you have forgetten a punctuation rule there.
  • 05002br 02font 010id1
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9 Answers
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0Florence is 00world famous00 for its monuments and museums. 00But for00 people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city.02br
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00It's easy to see it during the weekends 00when, a00 part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence 00seems a ghost town.02br
02
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0 01blockquote
01cite10Doll12cite10Florence is 10world famous10 for its monuments and museums. 11font10But for12font10 people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city.12br
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10It's easy to see it during the weekends 11f
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0Hello Doll, hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help. May I try to correct and ask some questions, please?02br
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00Florence is 00world famous00 for its monuments and museums... is it "world-famous?"02br
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00But for00 people living here ... I can't start a new sentence with "but". Could I have continued with a comma?02b
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0 01blockquote
01cite10Chiara12cite10Hello Doll, hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help. May I try to correct and ask some questions, please?12br
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10Florence is 10world famous10 for its monuments and museums... is it "world-famous?"[Y]12br
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11font
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0 Thank you Feebs. I appreciate your help. 0-
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0Hello Feebs, I'm a bit ashamed to confess you that is for... ehm ehm.... CAE!02br
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00It is a Competion letter, do you think it's too informal for such a task?02br
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00I know my writing level is below CAE. I asked to check my level and I was told I could apply for CAE, but they didn't chek my writing at all. I was a little impulsive, I think, and I
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0Chiara just work hard writing good essays are not a hard thing at all.05000 Just know the key rules and read English books. Everything will happen slowly. While you are going on a bus note down the thoughts passing in your mind. This will help a lot 05100Good luck.010id111id1
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0I just have a comment on the 01i00world famous 02i00part. The following is the style in the U.S. It may not apply elsewhere.02br
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00Use a hyphen if it the phrase comes before a noun. It's a 01i00world-class restaurant02i00. But when it's a subject complemnt, 01u00don't02u00 use it. That restaurant is 0
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0Thank you Doll for your suggestion. Unfortunately I don't have so much time to improve, but I'll do my best. And then, if I don't pass the exam, I hope I'll be able to do it again another time.02br
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00Thanks to G. Geek for your explanation, I appreciate your help. It's a Cambridge exam, I don't have any idea if Am. and Brit. English share the same grammar rule about hyph

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