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Khjuyen Posted 14 years ago
yesterday i drew up the water near head of the temple
my shirt left out on the lotus
if you saw, give me again
or you keep it as your memorable thing
my shirt was worn out on the lines
... but i have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet
my shirt has been worn out so long
tomorrow i will borrow her to do it for me
i will pay for your labour when you did it
until you get married , i will help you again
help you one basket of sticky
one good pig, one bottle of wine
........
can you check the grammar and the right word in my writting?
because there are some words in ambiguity that mean you can't understand about my ideas.
and after reading it, you can help me fix it in the best way!
thanks for your view!
Grammar
Checking grammar and using the right word
yesterday i drew up the water near head of the temple
my shirt left out on the lotus
if you saw, give me again
or you keep it as your memorable thing
my shirt was worn out on the lines
... but i have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet
my shirt has been worn out so long
tomorrow i will borrow her to do it for me
i will pay for your labour when you did it
until you get married , i will help you again
help you one basket of sticky
one good pig, one bottle of wine
........
can you check the grammar and the right word in my writting?
because there are some words in ambiguity that mean you can't understand about my ideas.
and after reading it, you can help me fix it in the best way!
thanks for your view!
Top answer
Hi, yesterday i drew up the water near head of the temple my shirt left out on the lotus if you saw, give me again or you keep it as your memorable thing my shirt was worn out on the lines ... but i have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet my shirt has been worn out so long tomorrow i will borrow her to do it for me i will pay for your labour when you did it until you get married , i will help you again help you one basket of sticky one good pig, one bottle of wine Your poem is nice. It has charm.
- Hi, yesterday i drew up the water near head of the temple my shirt left out on the lotus if you saw, give me again or you keep it as your memorable thing my shirt was worn out on the lines ...
- but i have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet my shirt has been worn out so long tomorrow i will borrow her to do it for me i will pay for your labour when you did it until you get married , i will help you again help you one basket of sticky one good pig, one bottle of wine Your poem is nice.
- It has charm.
- Thank you for posting it.
- It has some problems, but I don't want to list them all because it will spoil the charm.
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3 Answers
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Hi,
yesterday i drew up the water near head of the temple
my shirt left out on the lotus
if you saw, give me again
or you keep it as your memorable thing
my shirt was worn out on the lines
... but i have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet
my shirt has been worn out so long
tomorrow i will
yesterday i drew up the water near head of the temple
my shirt left out on the lotus
if you saw, give me again
or you keep it as your memorable thing
my shirt was worn out on the lines
... but i have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet
my shirt has been worn out so long
tomorrow i will
00
yesterday I drew up the water near head of the temple
My coat left out on the lotus
If you saw, give me again
Or you hold It as your memorable thing
My coat was worn out on the lines
... but I have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet
My coat has been worn out so long
Tomorrow I will bring her over to my home
so that she c
My coat left out on the lotus
If you saw, give me again
Or you hold It as your memorable thing
My coat was worn out on the lines
... but I have no wife, my mother hasnot done yet
My coat has been worn out so long
Tomorrow I will bring her over to my home
so that she c
00
Hi,
Yes, better, and it still has charm..
Here are a few other small suggestions.
Add some more punctuation.
Yesterday I drew up the water near th
Yes, better, and it still has charm..
Here are a few other small suggestions.
Add some more punctuation.
Yesterday I drew up the water near th
0
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