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Reverned Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Check some nonsense ;)
Hi everyone!
I'm new to this forum so I decided to post something. I wrote it in few blessed minutes of spare time and desire. I'm very looking forward to seeing where my mistakes are.
Thanks!
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In this very moment he felt as if something so terrible has happened. In a place, no one can see or reach by any way obvious for the human mind. "What" he thought, What could it be?". Then he found the point of fear, the source of chaos and torture. For not more than a second, he set himself in a deep contemplation. Now, the point was clear. The ache he experienced was nothing else but simple emptiness. That hole hollering down from the depths of his own being. He was hungry!
***
I'm new to this forum so I decided to post something. I wrote it in few blessed minutes of spare time and desire. I'm very looking forward to seeing where my mistakes are.
Thanks!
***
In this very moment he felt as if something so terrible has happened. In a place, no one can see or reach by any way obvious for the human mind. "What" he thought, What could it be?". Then he found the point of fear, the source of chaos and torture. For not more than a second, he set himself in a deep contemplation. Now, the point was clear. The ache he experienced was nothing else but simple emptiness. That hole hollering down from the depths of his own being. He was hungry!
***
Top answer
Welcome to English Forums, Reverned. Why don't you try to find a few more minutes just to proofread your submission for obvious mistakes? )
- Welcome to English Forums, Reverned.
- Why don't you try to find a few more minutes just to proofread your submission for obvious mistakes?
- )
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5 Answers
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Welcome to English Forums, Reverned. Why don't you try to find a few more minutes just to proofread your submission for obvious mistakes? (Hint: check punctuation and completeness of sentences.)
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Hi there!
Thanks for your welcome and comments. Unfortunately, my English is not good enough to allow me seeing the obvious mistakes I make. It just occurred to me that writing (even without any sensible point) is a good way for further developing my language skills. Right now I think I've noticed some few wrong moments up there. Probably, the 1st sentence should be something like "In this v
Thanks for your welcome and comments. Unfortunately, my English is not good enough to allow me seeing the obvious mistakes I make. It just occurred to me that writing (even without any sensible point) is a good way for further developing my language skills. Right now I think I've noticed some few wrong moments up there. Probably, the 1st sentence should be something like "In this v
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Another try:
In that very moment he felt as if something really terrible had happened. It was like the thought of a place, no one could see or reach by any way, obvious for the human mind. "What" he asked, "What could it be?" For not more than a second, he set himself searching for the answer. And then he just found it! The source of all his fear, chaos and endless torture. The point was
In that very moment he felt as if something really terrible had happened. It was like the thought of a place, no one could see or reach by any way, obvious for the human mind. "What" he asked, "What could it be?" For not more than a second, he set himself searching for the answer. And then he just found it! The source of all his fear, chaos and endless torture. The point was
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Much better after a little care, Rev. Now for some polishing:\
In that very moment he felt as if something really terrible had happened. It was like the thought of a place no one could see or reach by any way obvious to the human mind.
"What," he asked, "what could it be?"
For not more than a second, he set himself searching for the answer, and then h
In that very moment he felt as if something really terrible had happened. It was like the thought of a place no one could see or reach by any way obvious to the human mind.
"What," he asked, "what could it be?"
For not more than a second, he set himself searching for the answer, and then h
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Gracious me, thanks!
There's a lot to learn from your post, especially about punctuation and structuring.
What made me worry even more was the misuse of prepositions and phrasal verbs in my version. You gave me a good deal of points to think about.
Thanks again!
There's a lot to learn from your post, especially about punctuation and structuring.
What made me worry even more was the misuse of prepositions and phrasal verbs in my version. You gave me a good deal of points to think about.
Thanks again!
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