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Max1985 Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Check sentence for grammar and clarity please!
"First, I identified battery manufacturers who had little to no presence online, but had thousands of people searching online for their products. Encouraged, I narrowed my focus onto these manufacturers."
I want to shorten the first line and make it more clear. Basically, I researched Google data to find which battery manufacturers have a lot of people searching for them online but who don't have any online stores to retail.
Please help!
I want to shorten the first line and make it more clear. Basically, I researched Google data to find which battery manufacturers have a lot of people searching for them online but who don't have any online stores to retail.
Please help!
Top answer
Well, I can shorten it a bit for you: First, I identified battery manufacturers with little or no online presence but thousands of potential customers searching online for their products. Encouraged, I narrowed my focus to these manufacturers.
- Well, I can shorten it a bit for you: First, I identified battery manufacturers with little or no online presence but thousands of potential customers searching online for their products.
- Encouraged, I narrowed my focus to these manufacturers.
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2 Answers
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Well, I can shorten it a bit for you:
First, I identified battery manufacturers with little or no online presence but thousands of potential customers searching online for their products. Encouraged, I narrowed my focus to these manufacturers.
First, I identified battery manufacturers with little or no online presence but thousands of potential customers searching online for their products. Encouraged, I narrowed my focus to these manufacturers.
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