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Nanduni Posted 8 years ago

Check my poem please.

Autumn's Lover

I wish i were a bird

So I could fly to your house;

Where I longed to live too.

I will sit on the window seat

And look through the window pane

Covered with dust and dirt.


There i see the face

The face i longed to see for years

The face i longed to catch a glimpse

I see the innocent face

Fallen Fast asleep in peace

The face i wished to kiss

Not yesterday but a decade ago

Wrinkled now with hairs grey


A fallen glass there i see

With some brown liquid spilled

And a cigar half burnt

But yearning for life yet.

  

Top answer

It rambles. The images are interesting but not real. S/He is wrinkled and grey after only 10 years?!

  • It rambles.
  • The images are interesting but not real.
  • S/He is wrinkled and grey after only 10 years?!
  • e.
  • cummings.
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1 Answers
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It rambles. The images are interesting but not real. S/He is wrinkled and grey after only 10 years?! Always capitalize 'I' unless your are e.e. cummings.

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