Check my essay for errors. My english teacher is picky.

Question

In the essay “There Is No Unmarked Women”, Deborah Tannen has written a comparison differentiating between males and females with two terms. With these two terms, she then compares the sexes by the nonverbal communication brought on by personal appearance. Females are said to be “marked” because no matter how they style themselves, they will always be judged according to how they are styled. Males, on the other hand, are “unmarked” because usually their style says nothing about themselves. I believe since females are marked; females are more likely to be judged based on personal appearance then males are. Some may think that it can lead to inequality for women in society.

In the essay, she talks about how “there is no unmarked women” meaning that I am marked. I have created my own identity based on ideas from friends, family, and other random sources. I also might have rebelled against those leading factors and decided to go the other direction to find my own identity. Once I have claimed my own identity I then found a way to wear my hair; put on a certain amount of makeup; and got clothes that I feel comfortable in and that fits my identity.

Personal appearance plays a big role in a woman’s identity. My personal appearance says something about me that people notice without even speaking to me. In other words, they judge me just as all people judge women they see. Even though people consider judging as a negative term, judging can be considered both positive and negative in this case. A positive judge would be if a person, supposedly a male, noticed a woman and thought her to be extremely beautiful despite the clothes she wears. A negative judge consists of a another person, supposedly a female, seeing the same woman and consider her to be a “prostitute” based upon her clothes and not her beautiful looks. Either way they are judging the woman and whether they are wrong or right is completely different story based on gender views and opinions.

But I wonder, how often does anyone see a person judge a male based on his personal appearance? My answer to this question is not likely because males are unmarked. Usually when a person thinks of what a male wears on a daily basis it is a t-shirt with a pair of jeans. When a I see a man walking in the mall I don’t consider him to be anything but a man. There is nothing for me to go on that makes me think of him a certain way unless he is holding hands with a woman or anything else that may lead me on to judge him. So when a male goes to a business interview he has a privilege over a female. The manager can start judging the female long before he can judge the male just because of personal appearance. If the female is wearing a nice blouse, dress pants, and high heels the manager will most likely think about hiring her. But if the female goes into the room with a t-shirt, blue jeans, and tennis shoes then most likely not. Again, the positive and negative judges are being shown but in society.

In my opinion, its not considered inequality of rights for women. Even through males have a privilege over females in some cases, females can also find ways to look appropriate for occasions such as interviews. Still, I do wish that people would hold back on judging people, especially women, just because of personal appearance. Everybody is somebody and sometimes appearance just isn’t important.

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,
It's quite long, so I'll just look at the first paragraph.

In the essay “There Is No Unmarked Women”, I bet you $10 that you have not quoted this title correctly

Deborah Tannen has written a comparison differentiating between males and females with two terms.<<< The reader of your essay will immediately wonder what these terms are. I think you should add them to this sentence.
With these two terms, she then compares the sexes by the nonverbal communication brought on by personal appearance. Females are said to be “marked” because no matter how they style themselves, they will always be judged according to how they are styled. Can you find some synonym to avoid repeating the term 'styled'?

Males, on the other hand, are “unmarked” because usually their style says nothing about them~~selves~~. I <<< are you supposed to give your personal views? You didn't indicate your personal beliefs about the earlier sentences in this paragraph

believe since females are marked, they are more likely to be judged based on personal appearance than males are. Some may think that it <<< what does 'it' refer to? can lead to inequality for women in society.

Best wishes, Clive

Seraphin · Answer

I hope Clive can respond further to my post.
I wonder if in the first paragraph, the author should use "appearanceS" but not "appearance", especially in the second to the last sentence.

$0.02

Anonymous · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

We will be playing some of your holiday favorites, *** Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Twelve Days of Christmas and Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella. We will also be featuring SIX (6) piccolos playing together in the Candy Cane Suite, guaranteed to be a favorite.

Keyboard pen 47 · Answer

The benefits of a Christian Education

When choosing the type of education one wants, he or she should choose wisely. One type of education he or she should consider is a Christian education. This type of education can offer one benefits that will last a lifetime. One can benefit from a Christian education, because of what he or she can gain from the academic, spiritual and moral instruction. Concidering, A Christian education can allow one to learn academically from the Bible. It can show one how to have a closer relationship with ***, and that having good moral values will give them insight into all aspects of life through the word and guidance of ***. A Christian education provides a child with a good academic, spiritual, and moral education.

First of all, a Christian education allows one to learn from the Bible. If one reads the Bible, He or she learns the history of Jesus and how he used spiritual guidance in all that he did throughout his life. By using the same spiritual guidance one learns to have faith that all knowledge comes from ***, even academic knowledge. If one studies the Bible, he or she learns how they used cubit measurements in building structures like the Ark, The Bible teaches one the history of the way people lived, and changed over the years. It talks about the different languages one used such as Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek and how these ancient languages have changed an grown over the years. It teaches one about the creation of the world. The Bible motivates one to study and learn. Proverbs 1:5 says, "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels" (King James Version, Prov. 1.5). Incorporating spiritual instruction in one's academic learning can help one form good life building skills.

Furthermore, a Christian education can benefit one in teaching them to have a closer relationship with ***. It teaches that reading and studying the Bible can bring one closer to ***, and that through prayer one can talk to ***. Also, with spiritual guidance, one learns to open their hearts spiritually through using the Bible, it teaches one how to look inside one's self to be faithful, and trusting. The Bible says, "But it is good for me to draw near to ***: I have put my trust in the Lord ***, that I may declare all thy works" (Ps. 73.28). A Christian education teaches one not to fear approaching *** to speak to Him, like he or she would speak to anyone else. All these things can help one in building a closer relationship with ***.

Just as equally important is one's moral values, a Christian education can teach values and show one how having a good attitude can benefit one's self and others. Values are beneficial in teaching one to be kind and to give respect to all things. It teaches one to have trust and honesty in one's self. Furthermore, *** wants one to have good values and to use them. The Bible tells one "Fear ye not, therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows" (Matt. 10.31). *** values all and cares profoundly about the way one chooses to behave in their life. With a Christian education, one will learn that having good moral values will help one to be confident and proud of the things he or she does. To have common sense when making decisions that might affect one's life. Besides these are all important things to learn when in school and around others. Having good values and a good attitude helps form a good relationship with one's classmates. The Bible says, "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners" (1 Cor. 15.33). When in school, knowing that all the students are learning these same moral values can be a benefit in helping one to build good friendships. Lastly, having and forming good relationships at school helps with a stress-free school-day.

With this in mind, one may see that a Christian education can be beneficial because incorporating this type of education academically will allow one to gain the tools he or she needs throughout their lives. Second, one learns that through spiritual guidance, reading the Bible and praying, one can gain a closer relationship with ***. Finally, it teaches strong Christian moral values, which can help one in forming long-lasting relationships. A Christian education benefits one in teaching that *** can be in all parts of life, even education.

Work Cited

King James Version. American Bible Society, 1976.

Anonymous · Answer

“You can't build a house without nail and wood. If you don’t want a house built, hide the nails and wood. If you don’t want a man unhappy politically, don’t give him two sides to a question to worry him; give hon one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing a war.” (Bradbury 58) Just as how you can hide the materials to construct a house, so you don’t have it built. You can hide or in the government's case burn the books so no one can build their knowledge and opinion to be their own. Fire is seen as a blessing to the common people of Fahrenheit 451, but Montag views fire as the control of the government, getting rid of opportunities for knowledge and diversity,

Poster · Answer

1) Please do not submit essays without first registering a user name: otherwise "anonymous" becomes mixed in with all the other anonymous comments.

2) It is difficult to comment without knowing exactly what the task was. From a brief scan, it is not clear whether you are simply required to report someone else's views (Deborah Tannen) or express your own, or to what extent you agree.

3) Somewhere there must be some statistical or quasi-scientific study which would provide some more concrete evidence on which to base some views. Otherwise, it is just a matter of opinion, without any real foundation.

4) Some wording is not clear: for example "In my opinion, its not considered inequality of rights for women. " [it is not considered: but I am not sure what exactly you mean by the whole sentence. ] Even through [though?] males have a privilege [again, not clear. hold a more privileged status than ?] over females in some cases, females can also find ways to look appropriate for occasions such as interviews. [In general, I would suggest that more planning is needed to focus each paragraph on one point that you wish to make, and provide some relevant supporting evidence or examples. Otherwise there is a tendency to stray from the point at hand. ]

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