Check my academic essay plz~

hi dear,

this is my acdemic essay, but i don't know that i wrote correctly or not.

so i want check and revise this such as grammar, puctuation, phargraph.. plz

The etiquette of using a cellular phone

In 21c in which we live today, the technology has been developed quickly. Cellular phone is one of the most useful and common one to be with. It has become a necessity from children to the elder. Using a cellular phone is very convenient because we can use it whenever, wherever we need to make or get the call. Furthermore, we can use it as a PC by using a smart phone such as I-phone that is made by Apple, Galaxy S that is made by Samsung... However, there are some problems with using the cellular phone. For example, most of the people use it in a public place loudly such as a library, a theater and public transportation... Also people who have a class or meeting and use cellular phone, at the same time cannot concentrate on their work. sometimes people violate others’ portrait right taking picture by a cellular phone. Therefore, we should follow some etiquette of using a cell phone.

First of all, we would better refrain from using our cellular phone in public places. As I mentioned, developed technology make us use cellular phone whenever and wherever we are. It brings uncomfortable situations that people use theirs in public place at loud voice. In other words, people thoughtlessly use the cellular phone regardless of time and place. It makes other people feel uneasy and interfered with others work.

Secondly, it is a good way to make cellular phones in a manner mode. For instant, when people are lectured or in a meeting, we have to change the ring signal mode into "manner mode", which turns off the ring signal at the press of a button. If the bell rings, it would interrupt not only your classmate or professor but also you. And texting is not good during the class or meeting as well. The behavior, texting, could make the classmate sitting around you distracted of the sound of pressing button.

Finally, we are not allowed to take a picture of anyone with a cellular phone; as the technology has been developing, the camera function is equipped to all cellular phones these days. There is a portrait right so that we cannot take a picture of someone without their permission. But people take a picture on purpose to harm someone or make fun of them. For example, there was a hot issue that a student was in a subway took a lot of picture of women and uploaded in the internet for fun. It turned out that what he did was crime. So we should be conscious when we use camera in a cell phone.

In conclusion, we are living in the era of high technology. It gives us a lot of state of the art devices including a cell phone , which make us live more convenient. However, there would be more opportunities for people to be rude as well. To sum up, do not use the cellular phone in a public place, change the ring signal with manner mode, do not use camera in a wrong way. To use cell phone in appropriate way, we should regard the etiquette I have mentioned above as crucial thing to do and keep that in mind. Also, there are more etiquette that we should be known. When we all use a cell phone with the etiquette, we will have more pleasant and convenient life with developing technologies.