Check IELTS writing task 1

Question

The line graph illustrates the average number of commuters travelling by 3 difference transports car, bus, train in UK from 1970 to 2030.

Overall, there is a fluctuated number of 3 vehicles. People travelling by car and train are in terms of increase, car's commuters number is higher than that of train in whole historical. Bus's commuters line can be seen there is a gradual downward trend.

In the 1970-2020 period, the average number of people who travel by train rised dramatically to approximately 4 millions. That of car had a same changes, it increased rapidly from below 6 millions to about 8 millions people. By constract, the bus line fell steadily to nearly 3 millions in 2020.

Throughout the reminder of the 2020-2030 year- period, the number of commuters travelling by train is respected to grow quickly in 10 years later. Beside, the number of people travelling by car will vary more significantly than that of train, it will reach a peak at 9 millions. Over the same period, the number of bus's commuters will drop to 3 millions people, which is the lowest of the 60 year-period.

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AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

The line graph ~~illustrates~~ (Not a good verb choice. "Illustrate" is for pictures, maps, diagrams, and flow charts. It is not good for plots - graphs and charts.) compares the average number of commuters travelling by ~~3 difference transports~~ (Do not use numerals for small values that are not data values. Write it in words. Difference is a noun. You need the adjective form. Transports is not correct.) car, bus, or (you need a conjunction before the last item in a list.) train in UK from 1970 to 2030.

Overall, there is a fluctuated number of 3 vehicles. (That makes no sense. "Fluctuate" is wrong. Read my advice. Three vehicles means, for example, a red car, a blue car and a black car. ) People travelling by car and train are in terms of increase, (Not good English) car's commuters number is higher than that of train in whole historical. (Bad English. Historical is an adjective, for example a historical event. It is not a good word here.) Bus's commuters line can be seen there is a gradual downward trend.

In the 1970-2020 period, the average number of people who travel by train rised (wrong form. Rise is irregular.) rose dramatically to approximately 4 millions. (Wrong form - Million must be singular - there are four of them.) That of car had a the same changes, (Punctuation error. You need a semicolon between two main clauses.) it increased rapidly from below 6 millions (2 million is below 6 million, and so is one million. You need a qualifying adverb.) to about 8 millions people. By constract, (wrong spelling) the bus line (A bus line is a route. It has a route number. It might start at a bus station and end at the corner of Acorn and Oak street, and then return.) fell steadily to nearly 3 millions in 2020.

Throughout the reminder of the 2020-2030 year- period, the number of commuters travelling by train is respected (wrong word) to grow quickly ~~in 10 years later~~. (Ten years after 2020-2030 is 2040. There is no 2040 on the graph.) Beside, the number of people travelling by car will vary more significantly than that of train, it will reach a peak (There is no peak on the graph. Read my advice.) at 9 millions. Over the same period, the number of bus's commuters will drop to 3 millions people, which is the lowest in of the 60 year-period.

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