Check for grammar mistakes, please?

Question

Hello all. This is an extraction from the Intro of a 1944 Soviet book: ------ The authour's goal was to explain, as minutely as possible, the nature of that physical phenomena which we meet in the sound film projection. Undoubdetly, only a clear understanding of the physical essence of things gives the technician the ability not only to orientate in the problems considered in the book but also on his own to find answers to the questions that the practice of exploitation of sound film projectors can raise. The author strived for the simplicity of the expounding. Math formulas within the bounds of elementary algebra are used only to explain more clearly one or another phenomena and its dependence on different factors, giving the reader the ability to perform not complicated acoustical calculations on his own. ----- I'd ask you specify which mistakes a grammatical and which ones are stylistic. That would help me lot.

MrPedantic · Accepted Answer

Hello Ant

Would you like to try first?

MrP

Ant_222 · Answer

Hello, MrP!

This translation is done by me, so it's my first try.

MrPedantic · Answer

Fair enough!

It isn't quite right yet, so I've marked the parts that need a little more attention as follows:

Spelling mistakes in italics
Phrases that don't sound quite right in bold
Grammatical errors underlined

_________

The authour's goal was to explain, as minutely as possible, the nature of that physical phenomena which we meet in the sound film projection. Undoubdetly, only a clear understanding of the physical essence of things gives the technician the ability not only to orientate in the problems considered in the book but also on his own to find answers to the questions that the practice of exploitation of sound film projectors can raise.
The author strived for the simplicity of the expounding. Math formulas within the bounds of elementary algebra are used only to explain more clearly one or another phenomena and its dependence on different factors, giving the reader the ability to perform not complicated acoustical calculations on his own.
_________

See if you can correct the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors and rephrase the parts in bold; then I (or someone else) will check it later.

Good luck!

MrP

Ant_222 · Answer

Thank you very much, MrP.

I think I can correct the spelling mistakes myself by means of a dictionary. So, below I have tried to correct the style/grammar problems:

«That physical phenomena» — «the physical phenomena»
«In the sound film projection» — «in the projection (demonstration) of sound films (movies)»
«Orientate in» — «to understand», «to get his bearings in», «to get (acquire?) a good comprehension of»...
«But also on his own» — I myself don't like it, don't know how to rephrase [sad smile].
«The practice of exploitation of sound film projectors» — just «exploitation of sound film projectors».
«Strived» — «strives»? Well, he strived for that when working on the book...
«Of the expounding» — Don't like the "expounding" but can't find another word. Maybe "narration"?
«One or another phenomena» — «...effect...». Need a countable noun, right?
«Not complicated acoustical calculations» — Well, I didn't want to write "simple". What are the synonims of "not too complicated"?

MrPedantic · Answer

Hello Ant

«That physical phenomena» — «the physical phenomena» ] fine.

«In the sound film projection» — «in the projection (demonstration) of sound films (movies)» ] I'm not altogether sure of the meaning here. What's the literal translation? (It may be that a verb phrase would be better here, e.g. "...when films with sound...")

«Orientate in» — «to understand», «to get his bearings in», «to get (acquire?) a good comprehension of»... ] "understand" sounds fine to me!

«But also on his own» — I myself don't like it, don't know how to rephrase [sad smile]. ] It is a tricky one. Are you looking for a phrase that suggests "by his own efforts"?

«The practice of exploitation of sound film projectors» — just «exploitation of sound film projectors». ] "exploitation" suggests "using projectors for purposes other than those for which they were intended". Is that your meaning here?

«Strived» — «strives»? Well, he strived for that when working on the book... ] It might be better to say "strove after", in a text of this kind.

«Of the expounding» — Don't like the "expounding" but can't find another word. Maybe "narration"? ] What about "exposition"? It might help to convert "simplicity" into an adjective, too. (And watch out for the articles!)

«One or another phenomena» — «...effect...». Need a countable noun, right? ] "Phenomena" is a plural noun; so "one or other phenomena" souns a little strange!

«Not complicated acoustical calculations» — Well, I didn't want to write "simple". What are the synonims of "not too complicated"? ] What about an adverb + "uncomplicated" combination?

See you later,

MrP

Ant_222 · Answer

Hello, MrP.
Let me thank you for your comments.

Unfortunately, I didn't fully succeed in correcting my mistakes...

«I'm not altogether sure of the meaning here. What's the literal translation?»

The literal translation was in my initial variant — «sound film progection». Does «the demonstration of sound movies» sound better?

«Are you looking for a phrase that suggests "by his own efforts"»

Well, I mean him doing something not taken (copied) directly from the book, but solving other problems in the area.

«"exploitation" suggests "using projectors for purposes other than those for which they were intended". Is that your meaning here?»

No. I meant using them for their main purpose. Maybe "exploiting" or "operation"?

«It might be better to say "strove after", in a text of this kind.»

Yeah, I missed it's an irregular verb... And "after" instead of "for".

«What about "exposition"? It might help to convert "simplicity" into an adjective, too. (And watch out for the articles!)»

So, I suppose: «The author strove for the simplicity of exposition». Not sure about the articles... And I'd prefer to use the noun "simplicity".

«Phenomena" is a plural noun...»
I wrote "countable" but meant "singular". Sorry.

«What about an adverb + "uncomplicated" combination?»
No idea what adverb could fit.

MrPedantic · Answer

You're welcome, Ant!

Next set of comments:

The literal translation was in my initial variant — «sound film progection». ] I wonder whether a verb phrase would be better here, then, e.g. "the phenomena we encounter when watching a film with sound".

Are you looking for a phrase that suggests "by his own efforts"» Well, I mean him doing something not taken (copied) directly from the book, but solving other problems in the area. ] I see. So would that have the sense of "by his own research", or "from his own investigations"?

«"exploitation" suggests "using projectors for purposes other than those for which they were intended". Is that your meaning here?» No. I meant using them for their main purpose. Maybe "exploiting" or "operation"? ] Yes, I think "operation" could replace "practice of exploitation".

«What about "exposition"? It might help to convert "simplicity" into an adjective, too. (And watch out for the articles!)» So, I suppose: «The author strove for the simplicity of exposition». Not sure about the articles... And I'd prefer to use the noun "simplicity". ] "...strove for/after simplicity of exposition" might work; though some might find it wordy. (Would "simple explanations" accord with the original?)

«What about an adverb + "uncomplicated" combination?» No idea what adverb could fit.] "Relatively"?

Have a good Thursday,

MrP

Ant_222 · Answer

Thank you again, MrP. Your help is great.

«The phenomena we encounter when watching a film with sound".»

Well, I don't want it to be written from the first person. And since the phenomena in no way depend on the observer, so it's undesirable to refer to a person in this way. Maybe «the phenomena behind [or "encountered in"] sound movie playback» will sound better?

«So would that have the sense of "by his own research", or "from his own investigations"?»

Yes, that's just it! But how to insert it into the sentence? Here's how I see it:
«...gives the technician the ability not only to understand the problems considered in the book but also by his own research to find answers to the questions that [the? — I incline to zero article but I'm not sure] operation of sound film projectors can raise.»

«"...strove for/after simplicity of exposition"»
Am I right that the lack of articles here is due to the notions' ("simplicity" and "exposition") being very very general (or even abstract)?

«"Relatively"»
So, "Relatively uncomplicated" sounds better than "not (too) complicated"... What about "calculations of medium complexity"? To me it seems even better. What's you opinion?

MrPedantic · Answer

Hello again Ant

1. How about "...the phenomena encountered during the showing of a film with sound"?

2. Maybe you could insert some commas: "but also, by his own research, to find answers to the questions that the operation of sound film projectors can raise."

3. "...strove for/after simplicity of exposition"» Am I right that the lack of articles here is due to the notions' ("simplicity" and "exposition") being very very general (or even abstract)? ] I will have to think about this question!

4. "Not too complicated" sound quite awkward here. I'm not sure about "Calculations of medium complexity"; it seems a little wordy!

See you later,

MrP

Ant_222 · Answer

Good day, MrP!

«I will have to think about this question!»

I'll have to think about numbers 1 and 4 too... Maybe I'll find a variant that I'll like and you'll find ok...

And what about the article here?
«...questions that [the? — I incline to zero article but I'm not sure] operation of sound film projectors can raise.»

And thank you for the comments, MrP.

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