Certificate of Achievement

CERTIFICATE OF ACHIEVEMENT

WHEREAS in the halcyon days of Misc.Writing.Screenplays, the newsgroup was a lively watering-hole for professional and amateur screenwriters from all over the world who met to debate politics, religion, sex, race relations, music, science, gender relations, grammar, spelling, encounters with wild animals, and, occasionally, films and screenwriting; and

WHEREAS in the intervening years, MWS became infected with a prolific parasite who overwhelmed the newsgroup by generating a daily barrage of cross-posts; and

WHEREAS repeated pleas, threats, negotiations, abuse and attempts to bargain/bribe/berate said poster into modulating this untoward behavior met with complete and utter failure; and

WHEREAS the regular denizens of MWS feared that the parasite's incessant drivel was repelling industry professionals and earnest inquirers, thereby making MWS an increasingly less useful and enjoyable place to visit; and

WHEREAS the incessant whining, moaning, kvetching and complaining about the newsgroup parasite became just as annoying as the parasite; and

WHEREAS the cacophony of whining and drivel reached the nerve-pinching equivalent of biting on tinfoil while hearing fingernails scrape across a blackboard during a Fran Dresher reading; and

WHEREAS one man bravely stepped into the frenzy; one lone man with a razor wit, nerves of steel and a caste-iron stomach; one man named Alan Brooks, whose calm voice of reason pierced the howling wind of confusion and disarray; and

WHEREAS Alan Brooks strode confidently from the dugout of preparation up to the home plate of opportunity, grasped the baseball bat of computer wizardry, swung at the curve ball of moderated newsgroup formation and hit a screaming homer into the stands;

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that Alan Brooks be commended and congratulated for his outstanding achievement of building and launching Misc.Writing.Screenplays.Moderated.

(Virtually) signed on this 15th day of February 2005 by grateful and delighted MWSM fans.