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Jobb Posted 21 years ago
Grammar
Case
Please edit it:
Xinhua Network - Lu Zhongda, board chairman of Liaoyang City Galaxy Industrial board-manufacturing Co.,Ltd., Liaoning Province, China, raped 8 female high school students of 12 to 15 years old in a row, being at large for long by bribing 8, including deputy director general of the city Public Security, division leader of the city Criminal Investigation Division, chief of Criminal Investigation Control Group and policemen who were in charge of the rape case,
Xinhua Network - Lu Zhongda, board chairman of Liaoyang City Galaxy Industrial board-manufacturing Co.,Ltd., Liaoning Province, China, raped 8 female high school students of 12 to 15 years old in a row, being at large for long by bribing 8, including deputy director general of the city Public Security, division leader of the city Criminal Investigation Division, chief of Criminal Investigation Control Group and policemen who were in charge of the rape case,
Top answer
Jobb, Try splitting this into two or three sentences. I think the 'in a row' is superfluous - unless it was some kind of mad rape spree attack?
- Jobb, Try splitting this into two or three sentences.
- I think the 'in a row' is superfluous - unless it was some kind of mad rape spree attack?
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2 Answers
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Jobb,
Try splitting this into two or three sentences.
I think the 'in a row' is superfluous - unless it was some kind of mad rape spree attack?
Try splitting this into two or three sentences.
I think the 'in a row' is superfluous - unless it was some kind of mad rape spree attack?
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How about:
Xinhua Network - Lu Zhongda, board chairman of Liaoyang City Galaxy Industrial board-manufacturing Co.,Ltd., Liaoning Province, China, raped 8 female high school students of 12 to 15 years old. However, he was at large for long by bribing 8, including deputy director general of the city Public Security, division leader of the city Criminal Investigation Division, chief o
Xinhua Network - Lu Zhongda, board chairman of Liaoyang City Galaxy Industrial board-manufacturing Co.,Ltd., Liaoning Province, China, raped 8 female high school students of 12 to 15 years old. However, he was at large for long by bribing 8, including deputy director general of the city Public Security, division leader of the city Criminal Investigation Division, chief o
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