can't / don't get to

Question

A) Because I have a kid to take care of, I can't go out.B) Because I have a kid to take care of, I don't get to go out.Teachers, please tell me the difference between these two sentences.

Eng_teach_in_germany · Accepted Answer

The sentences have a very similar meaning.
In general speech they basically mean the same thing.
Technically, A means:
'It is impossible for me to go out (socializing) because I have kids to take care of.'
and B means:
'I never have the opportunity to go out (socializing) because I have kids to take care of.'

Yunus · Answer

A) means that you can't go out because if you can go out maybe there can be something wrong for the kid and you have no chance (perhaps you are the one at home so you must look after the kid)

B) means that you can go out but maybe you don't want to go out or like this. (perhaps you're not alone at home, and somebody can take care of the kid so you can go out but you don't) Furthermore it could be your habit that you don't go out when you take care of any kid.

Milky · Answer

BamtoriA) Because I have a kid to take care of, I can't go out.

B) Because I have a kid to take care of, I don't get to go out.

Teachers, please tell me the difference between these two sentences.

Both mean that the speaker is prevented from going out due to certain parental obligations.

Marius Hancu · Answer

Eng_teach_in_germanyThe sentences have a very similar meaning. In general speech they basically mean the same thing.

Technically, A means:

'It is impossible for me to go out (socializing) because I have kids to take care of.'

and B means:

'I never have the opportunity to go out (socializing) because I have kids to take care of.'

I agree with the above.

CalifJim · Answer

can't is pretty plain in comparison to don't get to.

The meaning of (not) get to involves the emotions more.

(not) to get to = (not) to [have / be given]
[permission / authority /
the [luxury / honor / pleasure / gratification / satisfaction / opportunity / chance / option] ]
( [to ... / of ...ing] )

So if you don't get to go out then maybe you haven't been given the permission or authority to go out, or maybe you are feeling sorry for yourself because to have not been given and will not be given and will not experience the pleasure of going out, or maybe you simply don't have an opportunity to go out.

You don't get to make the rules! (emphasis on the "permission" and "authority" aspect of get to)
I didn't get to meet her when she was in town. (emphasis on regret for not having had an opportunity to meet her)
I didn't get to go to summer camp this year. (emphasis on not having had the pleasure or satisfaction of experiencing a treat or luxury)

To get to do something is almost always an occasion for pride and satisfaction.
Not to get to do something is almost always an occasion for regret or frustration.

Exception: to get to know (someone) is to become familiar with. This idiom is separate from the get to idiom described above and has little, if anything, to do with having permission, authority, or the luxury or pleasure of knowing (someone).

CJ

Marius Hancu · Answer

CalifJim makes some important points here.

This is an old posting from Usenet on the same subject:
--------------
From: Markus Laker
Date: Wed, Mar 5 1997 12:00 am
Groups: alt.usage.english

(Donna Richoux) wrote:

> Totally tangential question: is "got to" or "get to" in the colloquial
> sense of "to be lucky enough to be able to" purely an Americanism? Do
> Brits say, "I get to see the Queen!"

Brits use it too, but not without some qualification, in the way you
have done here. Any of the following would be perfectly idiomatic:

I hope I get to see the Queen while I'm in London.

If you're lucky, you'll get to see the Queen.

If you get to see Fergie, give 'er a wallop round the chops
from me, the vulgar slapper.

Markus Laker.
--------------

Bamtori · Answer

Thank you so much, you guys. Your answers really did help a lot.<img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' alt='Emotion: big smile'/>

can't / don't get to

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