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Question

The pie charts compare the cost distributing for housing, food, health care, education, transportation and other demand of the household in a nation in 1950 and 2010.

In 1950, the household spent a largest paying of the total expenditures for housing, up to 72.1%, food was secondary of these lists with 11.2%, education, transportation, health care and other paying were 6.6%, 3.3%, 2.4% and 4.4% respectively.

In 2010, the cost of housing decreased three or more times, down to 22.0%. In contrast while, the paying for food increased three or more times, up to 34.0%, for transportation and other demand went up more than four times, up to 14.0%, for health care rose more than two times, up to 4.5%, only education expense slightly down to 6.3%.

After 60 years from 1950, people in this nation changed their expenditure habit that they did not spend too much money for housing, instead, they distributed expense to other major demand much more.

Nhật Bình · Accepted Answer

Your essay contains too many grammar mistakes, which can reduce your score considerably.

You should work on the grammar more.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You did not include the instructions.

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts compare the ~~cost distributing~~ (incorrect expression) spending on five named categories ( ~~for~~ housing, food, health care, education, and transportation ) ~~and other demand of the~~ of households in a particular nation in 1950 and 2010.

In 1950, the average household ( You need to say "the average household" or the plural "households") spent a largest paying of the total expenditures (this is very bad English) for housing, up to 72.1%, food was secondary of these lists with 11.2%, education, transportation, health care and other paying (wrong) were 6.6%, 3.3%, 2.4% and 4.4% respectively.

In 2010, the cost of housing decreased ~~three or more time~~s, by a factor of three down to 22.0%. In contrast while, ~~the paying for~~ food increased ~~three or more times~~, threefold, up to 34.0%, for transportation and other demand (wrong) went up more than ~~four times~~, fourfold, up to 14.0%, for health care rose more than two times, up to 4.5%, only education ~~expense slightly down~~ went down slightly to 6.3%.

After 60 years from 1950, people in this nation changed their expenditure habit that they did not spend too much money for housing, instead, they distributed expense to other major demand much more. (This is very poor English)

Here is a sample essay:

Paragraph #1: Describe the graphic.

Paragraph #2: "overall" give the main features. (As in the instructions!)

Paragraph #3: give some comparisons and details. (As in the instructions)

Paragraph #1:

The two pie charts, labelled 1950 and 2010, compare the average spending on five named categories (housing, food, health care, education, and transportation) of households in a particular nation.

Paragraph #2:

Overall, in 2010, the expenditures were much more evenly spread over these categories compared to 1950, where nearly three-quarters of the average family budget was allocated to only one category, housing. Housing costs decreased, and all other categories increased except for education, which was approximately the same.

Paragraph #3:

Housing was the major expense item in 1950, taking 72.1% of the total. It was followed by food at 11.2%, leaving 16.6% for all the other categories combined. This had changed dramatically sixty years later. Food became the highest expense item, just over one-third of the total. Food plus housing still amounted to more than half the household budget, at 56%. Transportation more than quadrupled, from 3.3 to 14%, becoming the third highest category. The miscellaneous category (labelled "other"), which represented spending on everything else, increased by about a factor of five, from 4.4% to 19.2%.

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