Can you review and score my writting task 2 in IELTS, please?

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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It’s believed that the trend that people tend to live with their friends or live on by themselves instead of living together with their family may affect the society negatively. Personally, I think agree with this statemet beacause of many reasons.

On the one hand, I think we still can gain benefits from living with friends or alone. We have to seperate from our families to learn how to live on our own, be self-reliant. In fact, if we live alone we can learn to cook, to wash things which we don’t need to do when we live at parents’ home.

On the other hand, not living with family is negative with people who depend on their parents too much. For instance, these people are often “mother’s darlings”. So, when they choose to live with friends or alone, they still lack of some skills and have to rely on others. That affect the community badly. Additionally, some people have bad sides inside them so that they always want to go far away from their family to make crimes. Because parents always keep eyes on them, they can’t do what they want. Moreover, if we live outside not parents’ house, it mean we have to buy another house, flat or department. That is a waste of money and it is also contribute in the problem of lacking of accomodation in some big cities.

In closing, everything has its two sides like a coin, and so living with friends or living alone. According to me, I ensure that the drawbacks of separating from family is outweigh the perks.