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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can you please modify in my writing?

There are many different between Sydney and South Korea. The first difference is the temperature. For example, Spring it February to April, Summer is May to August, Fall is September to November and Winter is December to January in Korea. But Sydney seasons change. Also, there are differences in culture such as Christmas. In Korea, when it is on the 12th, December every year i could see the snow so this date is called white Christmas in winter. I arrived on the 20th, May in Sydney so i didn't see the Christmas in summer. This Christmas will be my first one in Sydney on summer. I will take a picture on Christmas day and send it to friends.

Can you please modify in my writing and please tell me advice on my writing? Thanks.
  

Top answer

Let me make some changes and I will try to explain why. There are many different between Sydney and South Korea. The first major difference is the temperature.

— Doctor D

  • Let me make some changes and I will try to explain why.
  • There are many different between Sydney and South Korea.
  • The first major difference is the temperature.
  • [ You are not talking about any difference, but the important differences.
  • ] Spring runs is February to April, Summer is May to August, Fall is September to November, and Winter is December to January.
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1 Answers
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Let me make some changes and I will try to explain why.

There are many different between Sydney and South Korea. The first major difference is the temperature. [You are not talking about any difference, but the important differences.] For example, in Korea, [Put the place first, not last, so the reader knows what you are talking about right away.]
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