Can you please give me some feedback on my Writing Task 1.

Question

The line graph illustrates the proportion of total expenditure in a certain European country between 1960 and 2000.The line graph compares the percentage of total spending on five categories, namely food, leisure, clothing, transport and fuel/energy in a certain European nation over the period of four decades starting from 1960.Overall, allocations for food, leisure, clothing and fuel/energy showed a downward trend over the period, while for transport, it rose significantly. At the beginning of the time frame, food expenses registered the highest proportion; however, being replaced by transport in the final year.In detail, more than one-third of total expenditure was diverted to food in 1960, almost doubling that of leisure and quadrupling that of transport. Food and leisure expenses followed a similar trajectory over the whole course, declining progressively and finishing at roughly 14% and 11% in 2000. Likewise, there was a substantial increase in the spending on transport, which exceeded leisure’s percentage in 1990 and ultimately arrived at around 15% in 2000.Regarding clothing and fuel/energy, their proportions stood at about 10% and 6% respectively in the first year. Both recorded a moderate fall, with clothing reduced by half and fuel/energy dropped by merely 3% in expenditure at the end of the timescale.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The line graph compares the percentage of total spending on for five categories, namely food, leisure, clothing, transport and fuel/energy in a certain European nation over the period of four decades starting from 1960.

Overall, allocations for food, leisure, clothing and fuel/energy showed a downward trend over the period, while for

Overall, allocations for food, leisure, clothing and fuel/energy showed a downward trend over the period, while for transport, it rose significantly. At the beginning of the time frame, food ~~expenses~~ ~~registered~~ had the highest proportion; however, being replaced (wrong verb form) by transport in the final year.

In detail, more than one-third of total expenditure was devoted ~~diverted~~ to food in 1960, almost doubling (wrong verb form) that of leisure and quadrupling (wrong verb form) that of transport. Food and leisure ~~expenses~~ followed a similar trajectory over the whole course, declining continuously ~~progressively~~ and finishing at roughly 14% and 11% in 2000. Likewise, there was a substantial increase in the spending on transport, which exceeded leisure~~’s percentage~~ in 1990 and ~~ultimately~~ ~~arrived~~ ended at around 15% in 2000.

Regarding clothing and fuel/energy, their proportions ~~stood at~~ were about 10% and 6%, respectively in the first year. Both recorded a moderate fall, with clothing reduced by half and fuel/energy dropped (wrong verb form) by merely 3% ~~in expenditure~~ at the end of the period. ~~timescale~~. (wrong word)

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay:

The highest scoring essays combine categories into larger groups in a logical way. They give the "big picture" rather than writing about minor insignificant details.

In this graph, the most notable feature is that the relative amounts that are devoted to these particular five budget categories went down from 75% to 50%.

Note that I do not waste words on detailed descriptions of the shape of the curves, only the values at the start and end points. The maximum should be capped at 200 words. There is not enough room to put in any small details.

The line graph compares the percentages of total spending for five budget categories of the people in a certain European country between 1960 and 2000. The categories shown are food, leisure, clothing, transportation, and energy.

Overall, these five categories combined accounted for more than three-quarters of the household budget in 1960, but only about half in 2000. This drop was due to declines in relative spending for four of the five categories, especially food. The exception was a small increase in the relative cost of transportation.

In 1960, these families spent about one third of total expenditures on food, with leisure, at 19%, coming in second, followed by clothing and transportation, at a tenth each, and finally, energy at 5%. All these add up to 78%. Over the next 40 years, spending on food dropped by more than half to 14%. Decreases occurred in three other categories, leisure going down from 19 to 11%, clothing from 10 to 5%, and fuel from 5 to 3%. The allocation to transportation increased from 10 to 15%, a percentage increase of 50%. It became the category with the highest budget allocation in 2000, surpassing food by a negligible amount.

Can you please give me some feedback on my Writing Task 1.

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions