Can you please check my motivation letter? Thanks in advance..:)

Question

"Motivation LetterFor whom it may concern,My name is XYZ and with this letter I would like to introduce my candidature for patent examiner position.I am a young Romanian electrical engineer with 3 years of working experience within good quality engineering environment at European and North-American standards on Construction Site of ABC. In the last 3 years I had the opportunity to develop my knowledge gained into the electrical school and also to prove my abilities of fast learning, good adaptability to stress conditions and finding quick and reliable solutions to a large variety of problems, without affecting project schedule & finances. My continuous wiling to improve my self is proven by the Innovation Award granted to me by the ABC management for “key role in the resolution of critical activities, within the budget and with no impact on the project schedule, in the Cabling Engineering Program”.As the project ABC is getting closer to final Commissioning stage, I am looking forward for a job, in engineering domain, and I strongly believe that working for you will allow me to maintain and improve my aptitudes as electrical engineer at the highest standards, to learn many new things and to be at current with the latest news from electrical engineering domain.With the hope that you will consider my profile as applicable for patent examiner position, I wish you all the best,                                          XYZ   "Please correct me gramatically&syntactically if it makes sense.Thanks.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

To whom, not For whom
Colon, not comma after concern
for the patent, not for patent
spell out small numbers: three
in a good, not within good
to European, not at European
no hyphen: North American
no capitals: the construction site
gained in not gained into the
no comma after problems
don't use the ampersand in business letters
willingness not wiling
myself is one word
a key role, not key role
approaching, not getting closer to
commissioning not Commissioning
forward to not forward of
No comma after job
the engineering domain, not engineering domain
an electrical engineer, not electrical engineer
current not at current
the electrical engineering domain

Delete this: With the hope that you will consider my profile as applicable for patent examiner position, I wish you all the best

and add this: I hope that you will find my application of interest for your Patent Examiner position. Please advise me if you requir any further information.

Yours faithfully,

Kores_id · Answer

Thank you Mister Micawber...

(if I get this job from the first sallary I'll buy you a beer...

...)

Mister Micawber · Answer

You're on! Good luck with your application. (But if you want a salary, you'd better learn how to spell it!)

Anonymous · Answer

0Hi, i'm Etienne , 23 years old guy from Lebanon, International restaurant and catering student , and i need to have my obligatory training in a hotel in order to gratuate, so i have to write my motivation letter to the hotel where i will have my training, mentioning my reasons for choosing this major,and the hotel .02br
02br
00 The hotel is "Le Royal" Hotel, it's located near my house and it's an international chaine of 5 stars02br
02br
00i chose my major because i worked on a restaurant and i liked my job and the hoslitality sector and i cant find myself other then there.02br
02br
00I ask you to write me the motivation letter please containing the inormations above .02br
02br
00with all my respect02br
02br
00Thanx in advance0-

Anonymous · Answer

pls i need ur motivation can u give an example of application letter to some scholarship plz include that im poor thank in advance

Mister Micawber · Answer

Please see IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL LETTER WRITERS: READ BEFORE YOU POST.

Kapil Aggarwal · Answer

This is a letter to apply for a scholarship from an embassy. This is for going on an student exchange programme from my univ to a univ in Europe. Please check if it is alright. Thanking you in advance.

To whom it may concern:
May 15, 2006

Sub: Application for ABC Scholarship Program, 2006-07

Dear Sir,

With this letter, I would like to apply for the ABC Scholarship Program for studying at UNIV, France for a period of 8 months beginning September, 2006. I am currently undergoing MBA education at CURRENTUNIV and will be going to UNIV as part of student exchange programme at CURRENTUNIV.

I have completed my graduation in Mechanical Engineering from LASTUNIV. I have always maintained excellent record in academics whether it is school, LASTUNIV or currently, CURRENTUNIV. In addition to my academic activities, I have also had a chance to take part in many social volunteer activities like NSS which gave me experiences in working selflessly for others. During this time, I explored several latent aspects of my personality. I developed my inter-personal skills while successfully organizing the sports events during ZEST 2004. Besides, it brought to surface my ability to work hard and with sincerity, persistence, motivation, and resilience.

Now, at CURRENTUNIV, I have only added to my personality as well as my achievements. I was nominated for the Best All-rounder Award in my batch for performing well in academics, sports as well as other extra-curricular activities throughout the 1^st year. I have always dreamt of being an entrepreneur and my entrepreneurial skills have also come to the fore with ATAT Business Leadership Award, 2006 which I won from the institute, making it to National Finals. Not only this, I am also member of the core team of a mutual fund named CCap, founded last year by the students of CURRENTUNIV.

France is a developed country with a great history. French culture and language are the two things that have really fascinated me and that I am keen on learning about. Also, UNIV currently ranks among the topmost universities in Europe for its MBA education. I would certainly learn a lot, not only in Finance which is my field of interest but it would also add value to my entrepreneurial bent of mind. In addition, working and attending this master course, I will have opportunities to meet people from various nations and cultures, offering me different points of view and contributing to my flexibility and creativity, besides the cultural and language gains.

But one of the blockages at this stage, in my having a great learning experience at UNIV, is funding of expenses. I come from a middle class family and my father can afford a part of but not the full expenses (details of which have been enclosed). My education at CURRENTUNIV is also being funded through the loan taken from a bank. Hence, I would certainly need a financial aid in the form of a scholarship.

I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant and a beneficiary of the ABC Scholarship Program in the 2006–07 academic years. I am confident that I am qualified and prepared to meet all requirements of the scholarship. I would be grateful if you could give my application your most favorable consideration.

Please find enclosed my curriculum vitae, copies of letter of admission, school leaving certificate and my degrees/diplomas with marks, as per the requirements of application. Kindly contact me if you require any further details or documents. I hope to hear from you in the near future.

Yours faithfully,

XYZ

Mister Micawber · Answer

Hello Kapil. Here are some suggestions:

The beginning should be like this:
May 15, 2006
RE: Application for ABC Scholarship Program, 2006-07

Dear Sir,

Delete With this letter
for studying-- change to to study
comma after France
eight, not 8
undergoing MBA education-- change to studying toward my MBA

a student exchange program

completed my graduation-- change to completed my degree

an excellent grade average, not record in academics

change school to secondary school

comma after NSS

change experiences to experience

interpersonal is one word

change Besides to In addition or Additionally

delete only

change batch to class

academics and sports, as well as...

change the 1st to my first

comma after entrepreneur

the ATAT

at, not from the Institute

delete Not only this

I am also a member

Change developed to advanced

Replace sentence with: I am keenly interested in learning more about French culture and language, which have always fascinated me.

commas after Finance and field of interest

But it would ??-- what is 'it'? Please rephrase this part of your sentence.

delete of mind

delete besides the cultural and language gains

But one of the blockages at this stage, in my having a great learning experience at UNIV, is funding of expenses -- change to Unfortunately, I am unable to afford the full tuition.

hypenate middle-class

a bank loan, not the loan taken from the bank

need financial aid, not a financial aid

school leaving certificate-- change to school graduation certificate

Good luck with your application.

Kapil Aggarwal · Answer

Thank you very much sir for the help. I would also like to know about the quality of the letter - the coherence, impact etc. or does it need some improvement in that area as well.

Mister Micawber · Answer

Overall, I think it will be fine, Kapil.

Can you please check my motivation letter? Thanks in advance..:)

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