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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can you please check my essay? anything please.

Many people argue that if we unplugged all televisions, children would grow up healthier, better educated, and more independent. Do you agree or disagree?

Children and Televisions
I agree to the discussion that if we unplugged all televisions, children would grow up healthier, better educated, and more independent.

First, children will grow up healthier, because they will have more time to play sports and be in shape. Also, they will not have to deal with the problem of eyes irritation, and have less possibility to wear glasses at a young age. In addition, by unplugging all televisions, our children will eat less junk food than what they will, if we do not unplug them.

Second, children will be more independent, because they will become more social. Children can get many friends and enjoy their lives as kids they are. As a matter of fact, children can even be motivated to do the shores at home. They will not depend on you having to wash their clothes when they can.

Finally, children will grow better educated, because they will spend more time doing their homework. Also, they can study something else besides school, such as art, music or other languages. Moreover, children will grow with brilliant mind because they will have plenty of more time to read books, magazines and the newspaper.

To conclude, unplugging all televisions can definitely help our children grow up healthier, more independent and better educated.
  

Top answer

Hi, I fixed and reworded some parts, as seen below: Children and Televisions I agree to the discussion that if we unplugged all televisions, children would grow up healthier, better educated, and more independent. First, children will grow up healthier because they will have more time to play sports and keep their bodies in good shape. They will not have to deal with the problem of eyes irritation and have less possibility of having to wear glasses at a young age.

  • Hi, I fixed and reworded some parts, as seen below: Children and Televisions I agree to the discussion that if we unplugged all televisions, children would grow up healthier, better educated, and more independent.
  • First, children will grow up healthier because they will have more time to play sports and keep their bodies in good shape.
  • They will not have to deal with the problem of eyes irritation and have less possibility of having to wear glasses at a young age.
  • In addition, by unplugging all televisions, our children will eat less junk food than what they would by watching all the food advertisements on television.
  • Second, children will be more independent, because they will become more social.
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1 Answers
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Hi, I fixed and reworded some parts, as seen below:

Children and Televisions
I agree to the discussion that if we unplugged all televisions, children would grow up healthier, better educated, and more independent.

First, children will grow up healthier because they will have more time to play sports and keep their bodies in good shape. They will not have to deal with the pro

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