0
JulieJu Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing
Can you help me with some paragraphs of my cover letter for an internship ?
Hello,
I'm French and I'm planning to carry out an internship in an cultural organization in Scotland. I have prepared a covering letter for this position. I would like to know if I had make any spelling mistakes or error with sentence structure.
Thank you so much for your time.
-----
As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management and a record of accomplishment in various arts organizations and cultural venues, I currently wish to further my career through an internship abroad.
[... ]
A position at [...] seems an ideal opportunity for me as it matches my experience, knowledge and professional aspirations. My wide-ranging career in cultural management supported by my English learning experience build on my travels in Northern England and the richness of the British artistic creation, lead me today to affirm my keen interest and commitment in cultural exchanges between the UK and France.
As a versatile and dedicated individual, I have undertaken various roles in the areas of theatre administration, festivals communications, participatory art projects, music promotions. As a result, I feel that my greatest strength lies in my broad set of skills that allow me to ensure all aspects and steps involved in managing cultural events from conception through implement. I have proven strong logistics skills and a solid mind for organisation by producing and coordinating an eclectic range of creative projects, such as performances in public spaces, digital art exhibition in a psychiatric hospital, writing residencies in retirement homes and schools. As I have demonstrated as a coordinator for a participatory festival dedicated to theatre for teenagers, I succeed to develop close relationships with a wide range of partners (authorities, artists, press, funders, sponsors, local communities). Moreover, I combine a solid sense of responsibility with proven administrative abilities including fundraising and creating budget, sponsorship and grant writing. That's how I succeeded to create my own position and work autonomously during over 2 years as a theatre administrator. Finally, my past position as Communications Assistant in an international festival of arts and contemporary writing as well as my good command of graphic design tools has left me a strong ability to develop relevant communications strategy, combining Press Relations, Digital Communications and Public Relations.
As a result, I am highly motivated to take advantage of my creativity and my detail-orientation to participate in the influence of the [...] As a literature enthusiast with an eclectic taste of French culture, I look forward to collaborating with your library and language centre to promote and develop your outstanding programme of activities. I am keen to further enhance my skills in cross-cultural management within a prestigious institution like yours where I could provide valuable support in spreading and promoting the French culture on the Scottish stage.
I'm French and I'm planning to carry out an internship in an cultural organization in Scotland. I have prepared a covering letter for this position. I would like to know if I had make any spelling mistakes or error with sentence structure.
Thank you so much for your time.
-----
As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management and a record of accomplishment in various arts organizations and cultural venues, I currently wish to further my career through an internship abroad.
[... ]
A position at [...] seems an ideal opportunity for me as it matches my experience, knowledge and professional aspirations. My wide-ranging career in cultural management supported by my English learning experience build on my travels in Northern England and the richness of the British artistic creation, lead me today to affirm my keen interest and commitment in cultural exchanges between the UK and France.
As a versatile and dedicated individual, I have undertaken various roles in the areas of theatre administration, festivals communications, participatory art projects, music promotions. As a result, I feel that my greatest strength lies in my broad set of skills that allow me to ensure all aspects and steps involved in managing cultural events from conception through implement. I have proven strong logistics skills and a solid mind for organisation by producing and coordinating an eclectic range of creative projects, such as performances in public spaces, digital art exhibition in a psychiatric hospital, writing residencies in retirement homes and schools. As I have demonstrated as a coordinator for a participatory festival dedicated to theatre for teenagers, I succeed to develop close relationships with a wide range of partners (authorities, artists, press, funders, sponsors, local communities). Moreover, I combine a solid sense of responsibility with proven administrative abilities including fundraising and creating budget, sponsorship and grant writing. That's how I succeeded to create my own position and work autonomously during over 2 years as a theatre administrator. Finally, my past position as Communications Assistant in an international festival of arts and contemporary writing as well as my good command of graphic design tools has left me a strong ability to develop relevant communications strategy, combining Press Relations, Digital Communications and Public Relations.
As a result, I am highly motivated to take advantage of my creativity and my detail-orientation to participate in the influence of the [...] As a literature enthusiast with an eclectic taste of French culture, I look forward to collaborating with your library and language centre to promote and develop your outstanding programme of activities. I am keen to further enhance my skills in cross-cultural management within a prestigious institution like yours where I could provide valuable support in spreading and promoting the French culture on the Scottish stage.
Top answer
The highlighted areas need some refining or re-writing. It would benefit a lot by simplification using shorter but dynamic sentences. ------------- As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management and a record of accomplishment in various arts organizations and cultural venues, I currently wish to further my career through an internship abroad.
- The highlighted areas need some refining or re-writing.
- It would benefit a lot by simplification using shorter but dynamic sentences.
- ------------- As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management and a record of accomplishment in various arts organizations and cultural venues, I currently wish to further my career through an internship abroad.
- [...
- ] seems an ideal opportunity for me as it matches my experience, knowledge and professional aspirations.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
3 Answers
0
The highlighted areas need some refining or re-writing. It would benefit a lot by simplification using shorter but dynamic sentences. The writing style comes over as generally overweening, which does not serve the purpose..-------------
As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management and a record of accomplishment in various arts organizations and cultural venues,
As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management and a record of accomplishment in various arts organizations and cultural venues,
00
Thank you so much for your comments and corrections. Indeed, I don't want my letter to sound overweening, but dynamic and confident. Therefore, I try to improve my letter with some simplifications and corrections on the highlighted areas. I' be delighted and grateful if if you may have a look at it.
----
As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management
----
As a young French professional with a Master’s Degree in Cultural Management
00
As a versatile and dedicated individual, (Instead of stating your opinion of yourself, give them a few choice examples of what you have done, which lets them draw their own conclusion.)
an eclectic range of creative projects (But were they well-received and successful?)
writers' residencies
Imanage to build have built close relatio
an eclectic range of creative projects (But were they well-received and successful?)
writers' residencies
I
0
Related Questions