Can you help me preview my essay and give me some suggestions to improve it, please? - Writing task 2

In many parts of the world, children are now given more freedom than they used to have. Is this a positive or negative development?

In this day and age, juveniles in someplace in the world tend to have more freedom than before. In my opinion, I believe that this development would be more disadvantage than an advantage for both individuals and society.

There are various reasons why children have more freedom nowadays. One of the reasons is the habitat environment. They are living in a world where children have the right to do whatever they want and are protected by the policy’s government. In addition, parents are also the reason that children have freer now. By dint of a busy work schedule, parents often concentrate on their jobs more than their children. As a result, they do not have time to monitor their juveniles which leads to children having more freedom.

For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that it causes many adverse impacts on this development. The increase in the high rates of juvenile delinquency will pose a serious threat to society. When children do not have enough acknowledges of the surrounded world, children can be enticed easily into bad things in society such as crime, violence, and drugs. As a result of the fact that the percentage of committing crimes at a young age will be increased and if it is lingering for the after time, the society will be in an insecure status and lost a generation. Moreover, juveniles can lose their lives when they commit the crime.

In conclusion, I believe that children who have more freedom can easily do the wrong things, and this development will have a bad effect on society in some specific ways.