Can You Help Me Correct My Ielts Writing Task 2

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.

Is the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantage?

It is true that shopping online has become an omnipresent phenomenon these days. While I understand that some people see it as an improper method of shopping, I still believe that there are more benefits than drawbacks.

On the one hand, buying goods on the Internet has brought a number of unexpected things to many customers. First, this way is sometimes considered to be unreliable. In fact, on the Internet, there are many sellers who are thefts and they created a lot of websites to sell unauthentic products. Second, the majority of purchasers are often run the risk of buying goods which do not meet their demands especially when choosing clothes with the wrong size. Third, it takes a period of time to deliver the products if the customers are in remote areas.

On the other hand, shopping on the Internet still holds an undeniable positions in people's daily lives in recent years due to its advantages. Firstly, it is true that convenience has made this way of shopping commonplace. In this digital age, the Internet is well received all over the world; as a results, as long as we have an access to the Internet, it becomes more and more easier to buy everything online. Secondly, due to the Internet's availability, we can buy international products in a matter of seconds. Thirdly, no pressure from sale person is a plus point when shopping online because we can proceed at our own speed and choose whatever we like.

In conclusion, I can understand why people might want to end up this way of shopping, but it seems to me that it is much more beneficial to apply this method.