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Yiwei Liu Posted 14 years ago
Grammar

Can you help me check this sentence in my ps~Thank you~

I was born in Harbin, China. When I was only 15-year-old, my acute insight and analytical ability was obvious, proved by the successful sales experience of the barbecue on the river bank. As I quickly found the potential and main customers-children, and focused on them.
  

Top answer

I was born in Harbin, China. When I was only 15 years old , my acute insight and analytical ability were proved by successful sales experience at river bank barbecues, as I quickly found the core potential customers—children—and focused on them.

— Mister Micawber

  • I was born in Harbin, China.
  • When I was only 15 years old , my acute insight and analytical ability were proved by successful sales experience at river bank barbecues, as I quickly found the core potential customers—children—and focused on them.
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5 Answers
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I was born in Harbin, China. When I was only 15 years old, my acute insight and analytical ability were proved by successful sales experience at river bank barbecues, as I quickly found the core potential customers—children—and focused on them.
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Awesome!Thank you very much~~~
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Sorry to disturb you again. However,I wonder the changed sentence has changed meaning of my original sentence .In fact, I want to exprees 3 points:
1. When I was only 15 years old, my acute insight and analytical ability were obvious
2.This can be proved by my successful sales experience.
3.This successful sales experience is selling the barbecues at the river bank
4.And the reaso
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I have not changed any of your meanings—I have merely put them into fluent English.
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