Can you help me check my Writing task 2?

Question

Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.            Recently, due to the widespread adoption of e-books, some people believe digital books will eventually overtake traditional books while others claim that physical books will never go away. Personally, I believe that there are several reasons why people interact better with paper books.             On the one hand, digital devices and online reading materials can be the demise of paper books because of their several conveniences over traditional prints. Firstly, they are a lightweight, portable and thoroughly modern way of accessing literature and text-based information. They allow the customer to store a large number of books in a little amount of space as well as to read anytime, anywhere. If you're a voracious reader planning a trip or even heading to a coffee shop, an e-reader or iPad will be considerably a far lighter burden than a book or a stack of them. Moreover, e-books are far more economical in the long run than physical books since they do not have fancy covers, packaging cost, shipping, and others. Furthermore, there are a ton of free books available online for us to read, but we cannot say the same for physical books. Consequently, e-books are the best gadgets for those who are not only a fan of modern technology but also a bibliophile.            On the other hand, I suppose that traditional books will never fade away as they bring users tremendous values that no reader devices can offer. First and foremost, print books do less or no harm to a human's physical health compared to their counterparts. In terms of vision, prolonged viewing of electronic screens has been proven to cause the muscles in the eyes to flex more than usual, resulting in Computer Vision Syndrome with symptoms such as itchy eyes, headaches, dry/watering eyes, etc. However, individuals who read physical books do not have to worry about the number of pixels on the page or the blue light generated by electronic devices.  Secondly, actual books can significantly boost concentration. According to studies, reading from a tangible copy of a book allows the mind to concentrate completely on the task at hand, which improves concentration and helps to absorb more information from the text. Moreover, e-readers do not have the appreciative value that certain antique or rare printed books possess. Rare books, for example, are still kept in museums today although they could have just been digitised and made available through a screen with translations. This exemplifies the importance of a book in addition to its content.             In conclusion, although digital books appear to be the ideal substitute for conventional books, I strongly believe they cannot entirely replace printed books.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote nearly 450 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. So writing a longer essay is like shooting yourself in the foot.

There are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write around 270-290 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

~~Recently~~, Due to the widespread adoption of e-books, some people believe digital books will eventually replace ~~overtake~~ traditional books while others claim that physical books will never go away. Personally, I believe that there are several reasons why people interact better with paper books.

You did not address the task directly. It is not "Do people interact better with e-books or paper books?"
Be focused like a laser on the task you are given, not something that is sort of related to it. State your view emphatically and directly. For example:

Personally, I believe that people enjoy the feel of a physical book so much that they will always be available.

On the one hand, digital devices and online reading materials can be the demise of paper books because of their several conveniences over traditional prints. ~~Firstly~~, First, they are a lightweight, portable and thoroughly modern way of reading. ~~accessing literature and text-based information~~. ~~They allow the customer to store~~ A complete library can be stored on a Kindle e-reader or smartphone and can be ~~large number of books in a little amount of space~~ ~~as well as to~~ read anytime, anywhere. ~~If you're a voracious reader planning a trip or even heading to a coffee shop~~, An e-reader or iPad will be considerably a far lighter burden than a book or a stack of them. Moreover, e-books are far more economical ~~in the long run~~ than physical books since they do not have associated publication, printing and shipping costs. ~~fancy covers, packaging cost, shipping, and others~~. Furthermore, there are ~~a ton of~~ (Too casual) free books available online for us to read, but to get a free copy of a physical book, one has to go to a lending library. ~~we cannot say the same for physical books~~. Consequently, e-books are the best gadgets (wrong word) for those who are not only a fan of modern technology but also a bibliophile.

On the other hand, ~~I suppose that~~ (Do not put your opinion in a body paragraph. You opinion is in the first paragraph. The body paragraphs argue in favor of it.) traditional books will never fade away as they bring ~~users~~ readers tremendous values that no reader devices can offer. First and foremost, print books do less or no harm to ~~a human's~~ our physical health compared to their counterparts. In terms of vision, prolonged viewing of electronic screens has been proven to cause the muscles in the eyes to flex more than usual, resulting in Computer Vision Syndrome with symptoms such as itchy eyes, headaches, dry/watering eyes (Do not use ellipses, "etc." or "and so on" in academic writing) , ~~etc.~~ However, individuals who read physical books do not have to worry about the number of pixels on the page or the blue light generated by electronic devices. ~~Secondly~~, Second, ~~actual~~ reading books can significantly boost concentration. According to studies, reading from a ~~tangible copy of a~~ printed book allows the mind to concentrate completely on the task at hand, which improves concentration and helps to absorb more information from the text. Moreover, e-readers or their content do not have the ~~appreciative~~ value that certain antique or rare printed books possess. Rare books, for example, are still kept in museums today although they are frequently ~~could have just been~~ digitised and made available in electronic form. ~~through a screen with translations. This exemplifies the importance of a book in addition to its content.~~

In conclusion, although digital books appear to be the ideal substitute for conventional books, I strongly believe they cannot entirely replace printed books.

Can you help me check my Writing task 2?

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