Can you help me check my writing task 1 ielts?2.1

Question

1.The graph shows data on the manufacture of passenger cars in 2015.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The pie chart give information of manufacture of passenger cars in 2015. Overall, there arw reasonable differences among differences areas.

It can be seen that Europe and greater China accounts for the most world passenger car production(25% and 26%).

On the contrary, MIddle East and Africa produce only 2% of world passenger car.

In addition ero areas, are south america and south asia, also occupy low percentage in the manufacture of passenger cars(4%and 8%).

The average passenger car production is made in Japan, North American and Korea.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You must be just beginning with essay practice.

You wrote 98 words. You must write 150 or more. Learn to count your words. You will get a very low score if you write less than 100 words!

Next, your paragraphs are too short. Paragraphs must have one main point, with sentences to develop that point.
You need to have a paragraph structure in your mind for Task 1 essays.

Next, you have errors of grammar. You must write carefully.

In paragraph #1, write about the graphic, but do not mention any of the information content.

In paragraph #2 write about the main features. Select two or three of these.

In paragraph #3 write about details and comparisons.

The pie chart ~~give information of~~ shows the distribution of the production of passenger cars among seven world regions in 2015. These regions are three continents (Europe and North and South America), greater China, Japan and Korea combined, and finally, Africa plus the Middle East together. ~~manufacture of passenger cars in 2015.~~ (The next sentence belongs in the second paragraph.) Overall, there arw reasonable (That is not a good word here. This is not a good observation. Of course there are differences!) differences among differences areas.

~~It can be seen that~~ Europe and greater China accounts for ~~the most~~ a little more than half of the world passenger car production, 51%, 25% and 26% respectively. (The next sentence belongs in the second paragraph.)

On the contrary, (That is not a good transition) In contrast, the MIddle East and Africa combined produce only 2% ~~of world passenger car.~~ (Do not repeat this over and over. You told the reader in the first paragraph the subject.)

In addition ero areas, are south america (South America is a proper name and must be capitalized. It is a continent.) and south Asia, also have a ~~occupy~~ low percentage ~~in the manufacture of passenger cars~~(4%and 8%).

The average passenger car production (That makes no sense.) is made in Japan, North American and Korea. (That combination is not in the pie chart.)

Can you help me check my writing task 1 ielts?2.1

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