Can you help me check my IELTS Writing task 2?

Topic:

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging.

Do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

It is claimed that the community would be beneficial from a complete restriction on all forms of advertising because of its apparent lack of usefulness and sometimes harmfulness. In my personal opinion, it has its own pros and cons for these following reasons.

On one hand, almost all forms of advertising have a negative impact on individuals and society as a whole. Firstly, advertising bombards people with adverts whenever they use social network for several purposes such as studying or entertainment activities which totally disturbs them. In addition, advertising often exaggerates the features of products in order to make consumers be swayed by advertisements. Therefore, forbidding advertising is an effective way to lessen people’s making impulsive purchases.

On the other hand, it is inevitable that the economy would incur burdensome losses after undergoing a prohibitive order. As a multibillion industry, advertising not only dispenses thousands of employment opportunities but also greatly contributes to the economic growth. For example, an investigation found that advertising brings about 18.2 million of 126.7 million jobs in the United States in 1999. The report further concluded that advertising contributed from 12 to 16 percent of private sector revenues throughout both rural as well as urban areas. Restricting various forms of advertising is synonymous with the fact that companies can not approach prospective customers which leads to the significant decline in their revenue. Furthermore, it is unavoidable that a jobs crisis happens as thousands of people have to cope with the joblessness.

Taking everything into consideration, banning advertisements has both positive and negative effect on the community.