Can you help me by checking my ielts writing task 1

Question

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005

The line graph compares four different countries in terms of the amount of money which their citizens expanded on books from 1995 to 2005.

Overall, the total amount of dollars spent of books of all nations experienced a slight rise between 1995 and 2005. In addition, Australian used the lowest money to buy books in most years shown.

In the year 1995, people in Australia spent 30 million dollars on books, 20 million dollars lower than that of Italy's dwellers. In the following eight years, the total dollars expended on books in Australia grew significantly and overtook the figure of Italy at approximately 55 million dollars in 2003.

The similar growing trend was witnessed in Germany and France during two decades. Starting at 80 and around 55 million dollars respectively in 1995, the amount of money spent buying books of Germany and France inhabitants increased moderately in the next 10 years. In 2005, France was the second popular spender on books, nearly 55 million dollars while the figure for Germany in that year reached a peak at about 100 million dollars.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice
Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

Misused words (figure, witness, experience, peak) are explained in these posts.

The correct names for citizens of these countries are: Germans, French, Italians, Austrians

The line graph compares four different countries in terms of the amount of money which their citizens expanded (wrong word) on books from 1995 to 2005. (Incomplete. What are the countries? You can also mention the units of measure.)

Overall, the total amount ~~of dollars~~ spent of books (wrong expression) of all nations experienced (wrong word. Money does not have experiences. Only living creatures experience things. ) a slight (Slight would be a few percent. Less than 10%, certainly. In this case, the total went up by 40%. ) rise between 1995 and 2005. In addition, Australian (wrong word, wrong form) used the lowest money (wrong expression.) to buy books in most of the years shown.

In the year 1995, people in Australia (wrong word. I did not see this country on the graph.) spent 30 million dollars on books, 20 million dollars less ~~lower~~ than that of Italy's dwellers. (poor word choice) In the following eight years, the total dollars expended on books in Australia grew significantly and overtook the figure (wrong word) of Italy at approximately 55 million dollars in 2003.

The similar growing trend was witnessed in Germany and France during two decades. Starting at 80 and around 55 million dollars respectively in 1995, the amount of money spent buying books of Germany and France inhabitants increased moderately in the next 10 years. In 2005, France was the second popular spender on books, nearly 55 million dollars while the figure for Germany in that year reached a peak at about 100 million dollars.

Can you help me by checking my ielts writing task 1

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